Unknown - Can You Type Mary Alice Lyrics

Can you type, Mary Alice

My name is Mary Alice Jones and I have come to see
About applying for a job with your company
I've plenty of experience and ability
I know that I am qualified, so please consider me

Can you type, Mary Alice, can you type
Can your fingers fly across those silver keys
Can you answer the telephone and operate a dictaphone
And hike your skirt a bit above your knees

I don't think you understand the reason I am here
I'm not a secretary and I'd like to make that clear
I've been to Yale and Harvard and I have a law degree
I'd like to be a lawyer now in your company

Please, I think someone has a problem and I think it is you
There is such a thing as equal rights and I'm prepared to sue
I think you need a lawyer now more than you did before
Good bye and I'll be seeing you out on the courtroom floor

O, I can type, Mr. Johnson, I can type
My fingers will fly across those silver keys
I'm gonna hop on that telephone, I'm gonna really hum that dictaphone
I'm gonna hang you by your ______ in legal fees

You'd better learn to type, Mr. Johnson, You'd better learn to type
You better get your fingers flying across your own damn keys
Your boss is gonna call you on his telephone, unplug your dictaphone
I'm gonna hang you by your ______ in legal fees

Mr. Johnson, you've got ugly knees.

from the singing of Leslie Berman