Unknown - I'm Going To Drown My Cat Lyrics

Chorus;
I'm going to drown my cat
And smother it with a pillow
It's pissed all around my hat
And it's gonna have to pay
But I'm not into cruelty,
So when I'm done dissecting it,
I'm sending all the bits to the RSPCA*

1. Oh farethee well dear mog**
You have piddled once too often
I'm off to buy a dog, who is good and well behaved
You never discriminated the place you urinated
So rest in pee will be
The epitaph on your grave.

2. Oh to get you potty trained
I have struggled til my strength
Just like your bladder has been
Drained over walls and rugs and chairs
Your metabolism keeps booming
Because you produce more than you're consuming
It's really quite beyond me, so
Pussy say your prayers.

3. I will take my baseball bat,
Made of the finest willow
And put you out with that
And my troubles at the blow.
but I don't envy St Peter
When he comes to the gate to greet ya
You wait til he's not looking,
Then you'll piddle through his halo.

(*RSPCA is the UK's Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
**Mog is an abbreviated form of Moggie, is which British slang for cat)

[Thanks to lyrics for correcting these lyrics]