Unknown - Nice People Like Us Lyrics

Nice People Like Us
(Sam Richards 1982)

We don't like the scroungers, the no-goods and loungers
The idle, the punk rockers, bad eggs and scruffs,
Life's not for enjoyment, they could find employment,
The fact is that they just don't look hard enough.
So now in the name of justice and purity,
Cut off their dole and their social security,
Goals and incentives make people inventive,
So down with all handouts and measures preventive,
And make them nice people like us.

The young of this nation have more education,
Than we ever had in the days of our youth;
But still they're not grateful, their language is hateful,
A cut or two there ought to ram home the truth.
So now in the name of building good character,
Staying power, enterprise, backbone and stamina,
Cut out this fooling with softy-type schooling,
Let's give 'em hard labour, their energies pooling
To maintain nice people like us.

In the days when the story of our Empire's glory
Well guided the masses, made savages tame,
All others respected the race God elected
To stand at the wicket and umpire the game.
We think that it's time to return to that state again,
Here's our prescription to make Britain great again;
Hang 'em and flog 'em, chuck CS Gas on 'em
For obviously that is the best way to stop 'em
And make 'em nice people like us.

And as for the Asians, the blacks and Jamaicans,
Our brethren from Trinidad, Toxteth or Brum --
It's not that we're prejudiced, in fact we'll grant you this
Some of our shares are in sugar and rum.
But it's no use pretending the difference is hazy,
The heat and the sun made their grandfathers lazy;
Though we tried to give 'em a sense of tradition,
The ungrateful buggers just end up as muggers
And turn on nice people like us.

Trade Unions and workers are natural born shirkers
And sometimes we're sure they're just there for the pay;
They act just like yobs and they don't like their jobs and
Yet hear them complain when we take them away!
So striking and pickets will have to be ended.
And as for the law we can easily amend it --
So when they start raving and gross misbehaving,
We'll grab all their funds and their union savings
And spend them on people like us.

The Women's Lib cause contravenes all God's Laws
For women are mothers, for Nature is such;
Unless they've the money to pay for a Nanny
(In which case it doesn't quite matter so much).
So downgrade their jobs by upgrading all others,
And that'll convince 'em that sisters aren't brothers,
And that ought to shake 'em, and if it won't break 'em,
They'll know their position and that ought to make 'em
Well-balanced people like us.

So when we're fulminating and pontificating
With nice David Jacobs or with Robin Day,
Don't sit there and simmer or spoil your dinner
For once every five years you, too, have your say.
But once we're elected then, chum, we are landed,
Though millions of people still don't understand it
That you have to do what we want you to do.
Yes, and even if that means to blow us in two

[Repeat previous 2 lines of melody for next 2 lines]
Because when it is finished there'll be no more you
And the only survivors, the privileged few,
Will all be nice people like us.