Unknown - Skiving Lyrics

Skiving.
(David Diamond)

What are the joys of the poor working man?
Why skiving, bloody well skiving!
In factory or office, wherever he can,
He's skiving, bloody well skiving.
He stops for a chat, he stops for his tea,
He stops for a smoke, then he stops for a pee.
The foreman says sadly, "Now where can he be?"
He's skiving, bloody well skiving.
CHO: Skiving, skiving just you and me
Skiving, skiving, I'm sure you'll agree.
There's no need to work when the Boss cannot see
So we're skiving, bloody well skiving.
What are the joys of the managing class?
Why skiving, bloody well skiving.
Why are they sitting so long on their arse?
Skiving, bloody well skiving.
They're writing long memos (Lord, how they whine!)
For acres of desk and for chairs that recline
With cushions that don't give your trousers a shine
When you're skiving, bloody well skiving.
CHO:
What are the joys of the men on the board?
Skiving, etc.
What do they vote for in single accord?
Why skiving, etc.
The order book's empty, the creditors stern,
The men are on strike and we've no place to turn.
"I've bought some new golf clubs, I move to adjourn,
And go skiving, bloody well skiving."
CHO:
What are the joys of the Cabinet lot?
Skiving etc.
What are they doing as likely as not?
Why skiving, etc.
They drive to the house, on the front bench they sit,
They answer each question with wisdom and wit,
But we've seen the results and we know its all...
Skiving, bloody well skiving.
CHO:
What are the joys of the whole human race?
Skiving etc.
There's guilty contentment on every face,
Skiving, bloody well skiving.
There's just one exception, I hope you'll agree,
For I've got a bad back and I've twisted my knee.
And I won't take it kindly if you accuse me
Of skiving, bloody well skiving.

(Skiving is a British word for the art of being elsewhere when
work is to be done)