Unknown - The Monkey's Disgrace Lyrics

Three monkeys sat down in a coconut tree
Discussing world problems while drinking their tea.
Said one to the others: "Now listen you two,
"There's a rumour around here that cannot be true
"That man is descended from our noble race.
"The very idea is such a disgrace."
"No monkey has ever deserted his wife,
"Or starved her poor babies, or ruined her life."

"There's no monkey mother would be so unfit
"To leave her poor children with others to sit.
"Or pass them from one minding place to another
"'Till kids scarcely knew which new gal was their mother.
"Now here's something else that a monkey won't do:
"Go out on the town and come home in a stew,
"Or pick up a gun or a club or a knife,
"To take from some other poor monkey his life.

"Yes, man is descended, the ornery cuss,
"But, brother, he isn't descended from us!"

Source: a clipping from "Dear Abbey" lovelorn column
published 3 July, 1997.
May be sung to tune "Bendemere's Stream."
Alternate tune "Sweet Violets"
Lyrics revised so as to scan with tune