Vagus - The Tipping Chair Lyrics

The chair's about to tip but it never seems to fall
I'm confined to my bed, paralyzed and my walls just seem to close in
I can feel the weight in my chest
I try to keep my spirits up but I've got nothing left
I'm taking shots of yellow paint to try to cover up the scars
But it never seems to change me, at least not in that regard
I'm handing in my notice and I'm checking out this week
This is not where I belong and there's a maker I'm to meet

I hold my heart in my hands and squeeze as hard as I can
I want to see what I can take
I want to know who I am
I feel it bleeding through my fingers
Maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was
Maybe I'm not who I want
Maybe I'm all I can be
Did I choose this life or was it decided for me?
It might not look it but I've given all I have
But it's not enough
It's never enough

I see the look in your eyes when you ask if I'm alright
You're more afraid than I am and I'm not sure why
I guess you've figured that I'm worse than I let show
What do you fear that I'm capable of?
You're not in danger but I suggest that we say goodbye
I have nothing to give you but mistrust and sleepless nights
You've said it's fine but I've heard it all before and
I'm not ready to accept that I've got nothing more

I hold my heart in my hands and squeeze as hard as I can
I want to see what I can take
I want to know who I am
I feel it bleeding through my fingers
Maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was
Maybe I'm not who I want
Maybe I'm all I can be
Did I choose this life or was it decided for me?
It might not look it but I've given all I have
But it's not enough
It's never enough

This is not a cry for help; this is an explanation
This is not a cry for help; this is my liberation
This is not a cry for help; this is an explanation
This is not a cry for help; this is my liberation
This is not a cry for help; this is my declamation
This is not a cry for help; this is deglamorization