vary - Calling Lyrics

Why do I feel jealous?
I see you making moves
You're so far ahead and I don't even know how to improve
Never put the work in
Cause I am busy contemplating my life
I'm too afraid what would happen if I, if I seriously tried
Imagine I gave it my all and I failed
I choose to play it safe
Safe from embarrassment
Cause I don't know if I can handle it
I get so dissatisfied with my life
I'm running away from my calling
I can feel in my bones that I'm falling behind
But I am still stalling
Year after year I say this is my year
Yet I don't see no progress
Catch myself thinking that it's unfair
So much I need to process
And it's consuming me
Too obsessed with how you are perceiving me
Can't stop comparing myself to anyone I see, yeah
You make me feel like a liar
Cause you can see my efforts
But don't ever tell me if I wanted to, I would
You don't feel the pressure that I feel
You couldn't last one day in my head
And I know that I need to heal
But it's still making me upset
Oh
I wish I didn't care
Oh
Cause it's taking me nowhere
I get so dissatisfied with my life
I'm running away from my calling
I can feel in my bones that I'm falling behind
But I am still stalling
Year after year I say this is my year
Yet I don't see no progress
Catch myself thinking that it's unfair
So much I need to process