Vesper Bell - Heartbreaking, Not Broken Lyrics

I've never felt such pain before
Crumpled crying screaming on the floor
Part of me just died, and left my body
I watched it float away
But it had to, it couldn't stay
Shielding me from the truth I've resisted
But now I see clearly, the blindfold has lifted
I'm awake now
I'm not in the dark anymore,
I see my life like never before
My hearts breaking but I'm not broken
The shadow of doubt's gone, the truths been spoken
And I believe it, I'll face it, feel the pain and cry
I can move now, I can breathe, I see the stars in the sky
I see myself, I trust me, I'll be okay, I'm free
I've been living in shock, denial, so skeptical
Like this was just a movie, all hypothetical
I've been waiting to wake up from this nightmare
Wishing its not true, it's too much to bare
And I did wake up, but this isn't a dream
It's reality, a nightmare really happening to me
I believe it, I'm right, its true, the lying shit is you
Ive hurt and faught myself for so long
Filled with hate and anger, thinking I was wrong
I'll stop gaslighting myself with disbelief, letting go is such a f*cking relief
I wasn't at fault, I did nothing wrong
I was a child, innocent all along
I told myself you didn't do it, just wanted to pretend
No more, I'll never do that again
I feel anger sadness disgusted grief anguish
But you should feel shameful and selfish
I love you and hate you, I don't understand you, and I don't know if I want to
I'm awake now
I'm not in the dark anymore,
I see my life like never before
My hearts breaking but I'm not broken
The shadow of doubt's gone, the truths been spoken
And I believe it, I'll face it, feel the pain and cry
I can move now, I can breathe, I see the stars in the sky
I see myself, I trust me, I'll be okay, I'm free
I cry tears of acceptance, not resistance
I see my true past, and for the first time, my future in the distance
I look up at the stars and sky above,
I see a spark of hope, feel a little love
I feel my heart beat safe and sound within me
I wrap my arms around my body
I don't want to punish it anymore
I think I care about myself a bit, it surprises me too
Maybe I even want to live a good life, cos I f*cking deserve to
I'm awake now
I'm not in the dark anymore,
I see my life like never before
My hearts breaking but I'm not broken
The shadow of doubt's gone, the truths been spoken
And I believe it, I'll face it, feel the pain and cry
I can move now, I can breathe, I see the stars in the sky
I see myself, I trust me, I'll be okay, I'm free
I've lost a part of myself tonight
But I was supposed to, it's alright
It protected me from this pain I wasn't ready to feel
But now I am, this is my life, it's real
I'll fight and I'll win, for the little girl inside me
We'll get through, her and me, we'll be free