Vesper Bell - Not Evil Just Hurt Lyrics

What's wrong with me? Why don't I belong?
I don't fit, I'm not right
I was the villain in my childhood internal monologue
But my mind misread the prologue
Now the facts have been read; the true dialogues been said
I'm alright; you're the bad guy instead
I'm not evil, just hurt
Not horrible, just traumatised
Trust me I'm not twisted, I'm terrified but won't lie
I never believed I was naive or easily deceived
But I was, and I am, you manipulated me
I'm breaking, betrayed, you're anything but honest
You broke me like a pinky promise
My life's been a lie, a dissociated reality
You distorted my world with disturbing cruelty
I was too young to know what was real
My little mind concealed what was too painful to feel
It wasn't my f*cking fault I didn't understand
You were a monster not a man
Pretending to scare the skeletons from beneath my bed, then you haunted me instead
A nightmare, a shadow over my childhood I didn't see
You comforted me when I was frightened of villains on tv
But no horror movie could match what you did to me
You're worse than Satan, you hurt a child
You're evil, I bet they don't let you in to hell, your sins are f*cking volatile
My life feels dark, but your soul is black, you've lost your little girl, you'll never get me back
I'm not evil, just hurt
Not horrible, just traumatised
Trust me I'm not twisted, I'm terrified but won't lie
I never believed I was naive or easily deceived
But I was, and I am, you manipulated me
I'm breaking, betrayed, you're anything but honest
You broke me like a pinky promise
My memories were buried with the truth
I swallowed lies you fed me, hiding the proof behind the doting daddy mask
No one would ever know, or think to ask
You basked in your own perfect glory
Believed your own f*cked up fabricated story
Crowned yourself king of parenthood
Such bullshit - you were anything but good
Drinking your own poisonous denial, delusions run in your veins so deep
How do you live with yourself? How do you sleep?
I wish this was all a bad dream
But it's not, it's a nightmare and so are you
You destroyed my self perception, I grew up hating my reflection
I wasn't the problem, there was nothing wrong with me
It was all you, you made me despise myself, but now I'm free
Don't cry to me that you're f*cking sorry, your sorrow is self inflicted, you're so goddamn guilty
I'm angry as hell, you were so deceiving
I'm disgusted, but also heartbroken and grieving
I'm not evil, just hurt
I'm not horrible, I'm traumatised
I'm not twisted, I'll never be like you
I can't believe what you put me through
I'm breaking, I'll miss you if I'm honest
You broke me like a pinky promise
Life will never be the same, I can't forgive what I forgot, you'll never change
It'll never go back to the way things were
You're not my dad anymore, you're gone forever
I'll never be able to look you in the eye again
The truths out and so am I, goodbye, this is the end