Abel - COTTONMOUTH (feat. jA.AM) Lyrics

Roll up the pain in my soul
Awaiting my fall
It's all I never wanted

Hold on, ashamed when I'm gone
I try to be strong but I just keep running

Blow smoke, away from my ghosts
A chain on my throat
Afraid to be numbing'

Don't know if I'm gon' keep on
I gotta be wrong, I gotta be wrong, yeah

Sick to my last breath
My presence in past tense
It's harder to cope when you broke and you never have shit
F*cking distractions, or something just to help me breathe
I'm never crying tears, I'm always gritting teeth

I remember times when I would make believe
Up on that stage, 100,000 kids would look to me
And I tell would em' all to just believe, cuz they could do this shit themselves
But now I'm sitting here afraid to pick my mic up off the shelf and so I

Smoke up, toke up, get more f*cked
Up and and now I'm feeling free
Until I think about the shit that I don't need
I wish I wasn't me
I wish that someone gave a f*ck, I wish that I could sleep

I wish I never let my ego jeopardize my every dream
I wish I never lost my way, I wish my friends could f*cking see
That even if I push away, it's only cuz I wanna scream
And let go of this pain, it's f*cking killing' me
That's why I'm singing

Roll up the pain in my soul
Awaiting my fall
It's all I never wanted

Hold on, ashamed when I'm gone
I try to be strong but I just keep running

Blow smoke, away from my ghosts
A chain on my throat
Afraid to be numbing'

Don't know if I'm gon' keep on
I gotta be wrong, I gotta be wrong, yeah

So we meet again
You the reason why I slur my words the reason I can't see my pen
Oh and you brought your friend
You know that mother f*cka loud all in the crowd but ima let em in

Damn who is that bad bitch?
I don't know and I don't care oh shit I just f*cked her on accident
All three of y'all crushed me rushed me left me wit depression
I tried to fight back but self love couldn't step in

Now I'm here
With this bottle and these tears somehow I'm scared to speak up
I lost my voice and I feel empty like my soul just gave up
And now my conscience speaking to me like "you know this ain't us"

But the voice is distant in this instant
Way too parched to speak
Cotton mouthed from last night my body feeling weak
I took an oath and vowed that this was the last time
Two seconds later shook my head cause I said that the last time then I

Roll up the pain in my soul
Awaiting my fall
It's all I never wanted

Hold on, ashamed when I'm gone
I try to be strong but I just keep running

Blow smoke, away from my ghosts
A chain on my throat
Afraid to be numbing'

Don't know if I'm gon' keep on
I gotta be wrong, I gotta be wrong, yeah