I walk back from the bar
With a pint in each hand
A bag of crisps between my teeth
And a sickening feeling deep in my stomach
Before I even sit down
She sets the ball rolling for both of us
Rolling towards the cliff I'm about to fall off
She says
Everything works out alright in the end, you know
And if it's not alright, well, it's not the end
And I go yeah but it is the end, isn't it?
Yeah, I guess
Well, it doesn't feel alright to me
So now I'm living in a Streets track
But there's no strings, no killer chorus
I guess not everything gets to be a festival sing-along
And then it was
'Everything happens for a reason'
And that I'm being unreasonable
You can't have both, I say
After that the wifi drops out of our conversation
So we just sit there
Finishing each other's silences
I neck my pint and stare at hers
Willing it to go down
So I can head back to the bar
Get another
And another
She didn't use to drink so slowly
Used to be me playing catch-up
What else has changed, eh?
Then out of the corner of my eye
I see someone approach the table
I look up and it's her somehow
It's her again
She's years younger though
Wearing the same clothes she had on the day we met
I still love that t-shirt
I wish she still wore it
Excuse me, she says
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Outside?
Just us
It won't take long
I promise
If just you follow me
In fact it really won't take any time at all
I turn back to the table and
She's still there too
Giving me a look that says 'go on'
And nodding towards the door
So that's where we go
Me and the t-shirt
Walking slowly backwards across the crowded room
So now we're outside in the beer garden
Doing our best Kim and Jimmy against the back wall
I watch as she grinds the toe of her shoe into the ground
Bends down
Grabs a dead cigarette from the dirt
Puts it to her lips and fills it with smoke
So, I say, what happens now?
Cos I presume you're some sort of metaphor
And I?
Well I must be the cliché
But there's no reply
She just stares back and meets my gaze
With a look that says
Come on
You can work this out for yourself
She turns away
Takes the cigarette from her mouth
And I swear it gets longer
It honestly gets longer
So we stand in a silence
But this time it's a collaboration
This time it's a duet
There's no-one else here
And everything is still
In this moment, I see
That everything is still
Happening
Me and her is still happening
That first date is still happening
Everything that we've ever done
Is still happening
There you go, she says
Reading my mind just like she used to
You were looking in the wrong direction
So you only found the end
But I'm not your metaphor
I'm your palindrome
And we're all forever balanced
In the middle
'Cos
Everything is now
Always is
Always
Now is everything
Everything is now
Always is
Always
Now is everything
Everything is now
Always is
Always
Now is everything
Everything is now
Always is
Always
Now is everything