aeos - what is pain? (a 2 a.m. procession) Lyrics

Umm it's 25th of April and
I've not felt pain as much as this
Pain has become my companion and without it
What is my purpose
I am only but a wilting leaf in the meadow and
I go where the wind blows
Pain has become the essence of our existence and
I ask myself
When does the end come?
I look in the mirror and i smile in my head
The next person I see will witness the calamities I've been through
And realize that the beauty behind the sadness is the most beautiful thing on earth
A life without pain is not worth living
Because what is life without pain
It's nothing. It's meaningless. It amounts to zero Non-existent
We've found purpose and comfort in pain
We hold onto it like we hold onto our phones.
We ask for more pain like we ask for more food
When we're not satisfied with what we ate for dinner
Give me more and I promise to say thank you
Just keep it coming
Do not let it end
I'll forever be grateful to the ones that cause my heart to shatter into pieces
I live for this pain now
So scar me
Inflict my body and my soul with pain
Make it hurt until it can't hurt anymore
Again and again, I'll take that pain
I'll drown in it till I can no longer breathe
Till i can only recognize peace when it comes with pain
I am a vessel for pain
Only, Pain
I have become the harbinger of pain
And death shall bow to me
Death has not seen anything as beautiful as my pain
I can only smile at my pain
I do not know happiness
I'll never know what joy feels like
My pain is endless
And I can only find reasons to smile in this pain.
I exist for pain
I long for more pain
So tell me
Where can I find pain