AJ Bank$y - Soliloqui Lyrics

Soliloquy, what could it be, who am I, what it mean
I'm waiting for oil to erupt out of a pipe dream
Every day I pray I'm still writing for the right thing
Maybe I could win souls, sticking to the right scheme
Really need insoles, support for my flight dreams
Really wanna fly so I'm holding to the right wing
Well alright then
Never be a god, feel the wrath of a Titan
I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of typing
The things that I'm feeling, I know you don't feel 'em
Know you can hear me, I feel like I'm screaming
I see that you sleeping, I battle my demons
They love when I'm sleeping, they love when I'm dreaming
The thoughts in my head got me holding to Jesus
I'm covered in blood, man I feel like a fetus
Sometimes when I'm rapping I feel like a genius
Then it's back to reality, back to the fallacies
Actually, back to the wall like I'm backing down Shaq with the world in my palms
A couple 16's and it's magic
No abracadabra, I'm keeping it real
I am not rapping to sign me a deal, I'm a product of grace with the power to heal
I gave my seed to Eve in the Garden of Eden and told Adam we're even
The things I believe in, propelling me deeper and deeper and deeper
I'm focused on breathing, not focused on weekends
I can't change the world but I can change my life
Can't erase mistakes but I can make some right
I ain't afraid to die, it only take one night
I ain't afraid of darkness, only take one light
And I'm letting it shine, like one track at a time, know the city is mine no more backing out
Soliloquy, what could it be, who am I, what it mean
The pursuit of those things (Pursuit of those things)
Got me going insane (Got me going insane)
And it's crazy, complacency fading, but still I have nothing to gain (What it mean)
And I'm praying for rain (Praying for rain)
I can't do it myself (Can't do it myself)
And I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of trying, I'm losing myself
The pursuit of those things (Pursuit of those things)
Got me going insane (Got me going insane)
And it's crazy, complacency fading, but still I have nothing to gain
And I'm praying for rain (Praying for rain)
I can't do it myself (Can't do it myself)
And I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of trying, I'm losing myself
And I seen the highs, and I felt the lows
Forgot how to drive, and I lost control
And I lost my mind, and I lost my soul
And my heart is dark, and my home is cold
And my daddy call, I don't get the phone
'Cause he sad inside, and I can't atone
And my momma cry, and I can't console
And I'd probably die if heaven was close
But heaven ain't close, no
Trust me I know
Soliloquy, what could it be, who am I, what it mean, what it mean, what it mean
(Tell me what does it mean, for a nigga like me)
Soliloquy, what could it be, who am I, what it mean, what it mean, what it mean
(Tell me what does it mean, I'm just chasing my dream)