AJ Blu - Sinz of a Parent Lyrics

I got Eight siblings, Three on my daddy's side
Born in '98, youngest of the lion's pride
My life complicated, that's what keeps me up at night
And at times I hate it, I ask God why I'm alive
My folks were married, but split before their baby boy arrived
I know that's weird, I hold back tears
Cause my pops was MIA, half my life
We cool today, but I'm still scared to ask him why
Was it my fault? Was it something I did?
He don't love me, but he loves his other kids
I hold so much resentment
Frustration made the kid relentless
I get phone calls, some birthdays, and some for Christmas
You say you love me, but I found it hard to really think you meant it
If you did, you would've saved me from some harsh conditions
I digress, trying not to stress
Hold it all in but my mind is a mess
My heart is a blizzard, my soul feel bleak
But one thing a nigga never been, is weak
Grit my teeth, take it day by day
Look at the sky and I face the dismay
A nigga feel broke, so he need to get paid
I feel so alone till I get on stage
I got Eight siblings, Three on my daddy's side
Born in '98, youngest of the lion's pride
My life complicated, that's what keeps me up at night
And at times I hate it, I ask God why I'm alive
Single mother of six, my mom showed us how to survive
She's so smart, got so much heart, she's an angel in my eyes
That's why I cried when suddenly she wasn't in my life
Tried to get some answers, but I was young, so my siblings had to lie
Felt like I got abandoned twice, said bye to my friends, said bye to my house
Then my whole life got moved down south
I was so scared I wanted to shout
Then she started to call on random days, I was eavesdropping
Then I heard my brother say, "I hate those cops that took our mom away"
I was puzzled, don't know what an angel does to get in trouble
Had to keep that secret in, felt like a pup that had a muzzle
That year I struggled, but just know your baby boy, he loves you
Even though I sound disgruntled, I'm thankful
I got Eight siblings, Three on my daddy's side
Born in '98, youngest of the lion's pride
My life complicated, that's what keeps me up at night
And at times I hate it, I ask God why I'm alive