June 2018, debated jumping off a bridge
Forgetting all my dreams of ever raising up a kid
Rising to the surface were the demons that I hid
Emerging from their slumber to dismember all my limbs
Ripping off my arms, tearing off my legs
Whispers in my ears echoed in my head
Devil telling me lies that I'm better off dead
The hell I felt inside coursing through my red
Riverbed of arteries and veins
Parts of me had gone insane
The heart in me was lost in pain
Hard to see, and hard to breathe, honest I was often drained
Caught up in the constant game
Of not complaining, in the proper frame of mind
Of Thomas Train
"I think I can, I think I can"
Listen, I don't give a damn
I'm slipping down this hill and falling back into the Devil's hands
More than willing, Ready for the killing
Thoughts of hanging up a belt from the fan that's on the ceiling
It was looking more and more appealing
So I wrote my final note
Put it into lyrics to be spoken by a broken hearted soldier
Hurting you can hear it
Opened up my soul so the day that it gets played back is a curtain to my spirit
Pulling back the blinds so the blind could finally see
The captive blinded by the darkness that they'd find inside was me
Hidden in the song
Written, write where I belonged
Not a track to sing along to, but to mourn me when I'm gone
Drove myself to Stan's, smoked myself a joint
Had I left it up to chance, I might've flipped a coin
But I had my mind made up
Stayed up and laid the track down, meant to send it out and make my way up
Or way down, whichever you prefer
Regardless I'd be dead cuz that's what I thought I deserved
Recorded every word
Then it all became a blur
Suddenly unsure
I got it off my chest then started moving in reverse
Took one take, called it the Good Die Young
Double-took and looked again, misunderstood my drum
Yes, Ensnared by the devil, kick down and beat
Just a cymbal of my pain, never my defeat
Tom-orrow is another day, Perc up in my seat
Head hi -hats off for all them fighting through the bleak
I owe it all to music man, it really saved my life
I nearly paid the price on that warm Summer night
No receipt for a blind trade made with my demons
My life turned for the best when I recorded that evening
Put my pain in the song, put the song on the Cloud
Now I'm standing here alive, thanking God I'm still around
With my sound
I've been bound to surround the lost souls, hold them closer than my skin
So they know that they've been found
Never lose hope