Alena Chandler - chapter 20 Lyrics

If I'm so smart why can't I deal with things in a way expected
I take the words from your lips and turn it to something hectic
If you could see this tree I've been burning you won't be smiling again
Promised one day it would all stop hurting but it's getting worse and won't end
Chapter twenty's a few pages away but this reading has got me nowhere
Try so hard to be what I want to be but the child within me is still there
I know I blow things out of proportion
When will I grow up
Maybe I play the victim too often
My story's never enough
If I'm so mature why can't I let go of these tired grudges
I guess moving on to me is like saying it's unimportant
If you could see this demon I'm hiding you would be running from me
Hurting others to numb all my traumas, it runs in the family
Chapter twenty's a few pages away but this reading has got me nowhere
Try so hard to be what I want to be but the child within me is still there
I know I blow things out of proportion
When will I grow up
Maybe I play the victim too often
My story's never enough
I used to think I was just unlucky but I'm the bad luck
The whole world has moved on from it but here I am still stuck
I don't know who I am
Screaming with no sound
Flipping pages of my story
How do I put the book down
Chapter twenty's a few pages away but this reading has got me nowhere
Try so hard to be what I want to be but the child within me is still there