(Music and Lyrics by Duncan Sheik)
(Sung:)
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
I want a party to remember
The fetivus New York December
Fabulous and perfect fact
A part no one will forget
The catering will be sublime
One of those waiters is more than fine
I hope the guests will be impressed
At least I won't be underdressed
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
(Spoken:)
The holidays are a difficult time for me
So I prepare for the coming onslaught of eggnog
And office parties
Of shopping and ice skating
With copious amount of drugs and alcohol
To dull the screaming
(Sung:)
And if the party starts to waiver
I hope somebody brings party favors
Or at least something risqué
A little naughty
Or a little gay
(Spoken:)
You look like shit
Are you okay?
I think it's too much red
It's making me anxious
Are you on something?
It's think I may be hallucinating
Well, then find a bathroom, Bateman
Splash some water on your face
Throw up
Do something
Yeah, yeah, I'll see you in Hell motherf*cker!
(Sung:)
I'll put some X in the eggnog
Wait for a while
The girls relax
All the girls start to smile
I'll open a gram
Watch them go
Now you see why Santa
Loves the snow
Some f*cking leaves
At the door
Can't wait till the girls
Are nailed to the floor