[ Featuring Josh Gad ]
Gutenberg's wine press shop. It is very late at night. The clock on the wall says, like... psh, two A.M. probably. Gutenberg is working at his press
[DOUG as GUTENBERG, spoken]
I need a break
(sung)
When I'm at my press
I like to leave my body
Let my mind roam free
And think about my day
Somebody died, somebody cried, somebody lied
I ate stew
And yet
There's the pain of something niggling at my head
I can't forget
And yet I can't remember what the people of Schlimmer said
I cannot rеad
I cannot read
I cannot read
I hate Jеws
(spoken)
Yes! I hear you now, townspeople. I understand you, and I feel you inside me. I've gotta do something!
(sung)
Here
I'll take this clock
What can this be?
Can this clock ever teach people to read?
No, it cannot
It goes in the trash
Wait
There might be something cool in the trash
It's just an old grape
That's not what I need
Grapes are completely useless
No! Schlimmer must read!
But what can I do
All I got's this grape juice press
Wait a minute!
This grape juice press
I'm gonna take this press and make it print some words
I'm gonna change this press though I know it sounds absurd
I'm gonna take the grapes out, put letters in
Put letters where them grapes have been
I'm gonna take this press and make it print some words
[BUD, spoken]
And so Gutenberg worked long into the night, making history to that boogie-woogie beat. You go on, Johann Gutenberg, you invent that printing press for all of us
[DOUG as GUTENBERG]
It's the first printing press in history
It's gonna print up books for you and me
It's a printing press and it's gonna print some words
[BUD as HELVETICA, spoken]
Helvetica enters
Oh, Gutenberg!
[DOUG as GUTENBERG, spoken]
Look what I invented!
[BUD as HELVETICA, spoken]
Oh, what is it?
[DOUG as GUTENBERG, spoken]
A printing press
[BUD as HELVETICA, spoken]
Oh, it's wonderful! Shall we toast?
[DOUG as GUTENBERG, spoken]
No!
[BUD as HELVETICA, spoken]
AHH!
[DOUG as GUTENBERG, spoken]
Silly girl. We don't make wine anymore. We make words!
[BUD as HELVETICA, spoken]
Words...?
[DOUG as GUTENBERG, spoken]
Words!
(sung)
Ah! Now that I'm done
Get ready to read!
This will be going down in history
Remember my face
Now there's a glimmer in Schlimmer
And that glimmer is me
G-U-T-E-N-B-E-R-G!