Al's the name, ham's the game
Some would say I overplay
But they wouldn't know a one-man show
If it up and poked them in the nose
Some folks could barely recognize
A sensation in a cheap disguise
When I hit them clean between the eyes
They think I'm done they miss their bet
Hey, you ain't seen nothing yet
Got a million
Got a million more
Going to fill you up
Until you don't know
If you're punched or bored
Got a million
Got a million more
Just call me Ken, you know I'm back
Crowned king of the witless crack
I made my way, I paid in cash
Do you believe that notty trash?
I wave my stick, I bounce my balls
Like hollow laughter off the walls
I snigger and nudge them in the ribs
And wink until my eyelid bleeds
Ahoy shipmates, it's Cap'n Bob
A particularly nasty job
You see me first in black and white
A trick of the refracted light
In actual fact I'm white and black
And I'm cheating behind your back
It's the human state, you wonder why
We lie and lie and lie and lie