(SNL Digital Short)
[Announcer]:
And now, a message from the
Staten Island Zoo.
[Karen Donnally]:
Greetings, wildlife enthusiasts! My name
is Karen Donnally, and today I'd like to talk about some very special animals
that don't get much attention: sloths! They're furry -- they have.. two or three toes, and, yes, they're very, very slow.
Luckily, we've just received a brand new documentary on these adorable
creatures, from a group of students at Staten Island Technical High School. I
haven't seen it yet, but I heard it's a real eye-opener! Let's check it out!
[ SUPER: "Somewhere" ]
[ SUPER: "Deep In The Jungle" ]
"SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
We sleep 18 hours, but we always party 24!
Hunt in packs, and we eat
algae off our fur!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
We got 3 toes, but we'll pound down 3,000 Bud Lights!
Break your
nose, and kick your face in a punch fight!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
We eat bamboo, but
prefer your girls' ***********!
Shank your mom, with a pterodactyl *********
bone!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
Hire a dog,
to burn down a hospital!
Eat cocaine, off America's gravestone!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
SLOTHS!!
Don't call us
slow
Don't call us slo-o-o-o-o-o-o-owwwwww!!
[ guitar riff ]
Kill all of your friends, and ride their corpses like a carousel!
Put
your ****** inside our *****, and kill you if you ever tell!
SLOTHS!!"
[Karen Donnally]:
That was -- that was
not entirely accurate.
[Announcer]:
This has been a message from the Staten Island Zoo.