Andy Shauf - My Dear Helen Lyrics

My dear Helen it's been a while since we've talked
Charlie and I haven't been up to a whole lot
He's slowing down a little and my knee's acting up
Yeah we're quite a pair of geezers moving slower than molasses
You'd be laughing if you saw us, you always loved to tease

I dug up an old bottle of your raspberry wine
So I'm slouched out on the porch swing just taking my time
My mind keeps turning out these pictures of you
You were dancing in the kitchen and I was enjoying my view
Oh Charlie was squirming just two steps behind you

My dear Helen do you remember when you said
That you'd be waiting at the gates so you could sneak me in?
Well it sure was funny but it still caught in my throat
And when I think about it now, it still makes me choke
And I wonder if those gates would ever open up for me

Helen my dear, I do have something to tell
I don't know how to start so I guess I just will
See, these nights have been hot, it's that muggy sort of air
Doesn't let me get to sleep so I usually just lie there
On top of my quilt with Charlie by my feet

Last night as I laid there frustrated and tired
I was sat up in my bed by the hens starting wild
I thought 'That fox is back again, he's gonna rob me blind
I don't know how he gets in but I'd better make him fly'
So I took my leaning rifle out the door

I fired off a shot aiming far into the heat
And as soon as it was flying I felt weak in my knees
I heard shoes turning gravel and then tires spitting rocks
I heard a gasp for air and my stomach tied in knots
Charlie started whining with his tail between his legs
We wandered out slow but my heart was breaking ribs
I couldn't hear nothing and there was a girl lying twisted
My hands were trembling and I felt that she was limp
Her pulse wasn't tapping so I felt sick to my stomach
Charlie was frozen, so I went for a shovel
And I buried her body, I didn't know what else to do

If I'd only aimed a little higher
If I'd only thought before I fired
I hope God can forgive me, I hope for you to forgive me too
I'm just a tired old man just waiting to join you
So here I am slouched on this old porch swing
Thinking about heaven, thinking about everything
So be waiting by those gates, you might need to sneak me in

I don't know how they feel about us accidental killers
I don't know how they feel about us tired old men
I don't know how they feel about us tired old murdering men
I don't know how they feel about us tired old murdering men