Anno IV - Internal Threats Lyrics

Guess that's just more I gotta deal with
Mental struggles and ADHD
When my faith will crumble, I see waiting for kings
Hoping God will save me
My concentration lessens by the day
Tryna focus on the task, but my mind strays away
Tryna hone in on your thoughts, but I'm lying, okay?
My mental state is terrible, haven't cried anyway
Incapable, but who are you to say I make and choose
You haven't seen my life, let alone walked in and laced my shoes
Or talked with or faced my blues
I'd rather cross fists and pay my dues
I'd rather clench fists, then end this when they say who's
Responsible, crossfit how I pull myself back up
Looking back, I would criss cross though all of those rules
When I did, red cross how my blood was then drew
I would go back and redo
Is that the wrong thing to say
Am I supposed to say if I'd redo I'd walk away
Like it didn't mould me into what I am today
Look away from the fact that I was happier those days
And thus, my internal threats are told
Sitting back, mentally, I watch my brain unfold
And I'm glad nothing bothers me, I'm numb to those
Antidepressants, but natural ones, I've got loads
But I've never played the victim, nah
See I've grown above seeking approval from those who aren't there to witness
I keep my circle small, you make sure you fit right in the middle
Afraid of confrontation so you hide amongst your sitters
Really pathetic, imbedded in the mind should be some honour
Really regret it, instead I'd rather be growing stronger
Grown more towards a better goal, but find in it
You're so disloyal, you don't lay in bed, you lie in it
Don't ever let me catch you slipping
Better yet, I've regretted all these past conflictions
They weren't worth my time, I know I'm through with wishing
There's better passion, what you lacking, I know you've been feeling
Left out, but the journey continues
Better strap up and jet, cause this jury's official
And I've had it, but yet, all your jewellery's for pictures
I write jewels and record them, how would you know the difference
How would you know sacrifice
Bet you'd get lost while holding the map of life
See I've been living, but I'm ready for after life
I've been grinning, but a sun ray can cap the ice
Will they reel you in? They cast a line and pull
I cast a line and choose to say what I feel
If you stepping on their words, it is real you in
Keeping myself up at night, I thank you still