Antoine Arnoux - I'm Not Free (As I Wanted to Be) Lyrics

Yes I know, I'm not a kid anymore
Yes I know what I should be looking for
But what I thought I buried in the past
At the end is coming back just as hard as a blast
Yes I know, you're not here anymore
Yes I know that you still live in my heart
But now I'm done, I dealt with it, I'm okay
I'm just scared that other things will burn me all over again
And when you finally see the light that's blinding your eyes
No you can't help but run away
Cause you've been facing lies everyday
And even when I'm trying to get out of this prison cell
These scars just put me back to hell
I know I'm not doing really well
Cause I'm not free, as I wanted to be
Yeah I'm not free, as I wanted to be (Not free as I wanted to be)
I'm not free as I wanted to be
Yes I know, I'm not sick anymore
Yes I know that I should be nevermore
But even when I draw a smile on my face
I always got to just prepare and be ready to erase
Just in case
And when you finally see the light that's blinding your eyes
No you can't help but run away
Cause you've been facing lies everyday
And even when I'm trying to get out of this prison cell
These scars just put me back to hell
I know I'm not doing really well
Cause I'm not free, as I wanted to be
Yeah I'm not free, as I wanted to be (Not free as I wanted to be)
I'm not free as I wanted to be
No I don't know how to do this alone
No I don't know if I'm not gonna drown
What I just need is someone to lean on
To not be scared and look ahead, just trying to move on