Apache Wildnative - Reflections Lyrics

Sometimes reflections are the ugliest things It's a shame

Yo
Sometimes I hate the face I see looking back at me
Reminds me of times I want to forget but can't seem to be
Able to release the horrors of the shit that happened to me
Everyday I wake up followed by another tragedy
PTSD burned holes in my brain
You created a monster then you gave it a name
Then you turned your f*cking back and f*cking hopped on a train
Left me with this hated life that I would have to maintain
So I backpack some beers to throw back with tears
And smash glass mirrors and let blood splash near
So i don't see the cache of past last forever here
My reflection is trash and my thoughts are never clear like Everclear
One slash with this glass have me buried in brass
Deep in the grass and you can have my jeep n cash
It may sound crass but I will never have a blast
My head is like two trucks hitting each other a brutal crash
I just need to get out and do something about the silence
Isolation's the only way that I don't resort to violence
Auditory hallucinations making me hear sirens
I just want it to stop like a dead watch a broken Timex
But I don't think it ever will and that's the sad truth
So I find myself mad spitting about dad in a booth
If I ever saw him again I'd bust his mother f*cking tooth
For the evil shit he did to me and my mother during my youth
It's too much and it never stops
Like solar clocks bonds and stocks
This is my reflection telling you to kick rocks
No headlocks this time I'm thinking outside the box
It's my time to shine and you will never get a dime pops
Cause you were never there for me
And when you were you never cared
You would just f*cking yell at me
And call me nothing but swears
I actually used to say prayers
That you would lie down and die
That the Lord would take you from me
And you'd fly into the sky
I could never help but cry
When my friends and I would swap stories
You were never in mine cause they would always ignore me
Or I would have to lie and say that you were f*cking dead or boring
And that was the first time that you'd pop into my head I'm sorry
You f*cked up my reflection and made me dark and broken
And now I'm hoping for a spark to get me going and token
Before I'm die inside and my wind stops blowing
I let my flow start flowing my flows the glow that's glowing
So this is it dad the end of my f*cking reflection
The direction I'm going is showing you no affection
You never gave me no attention
Your rejection of me is like a shitty art collection
It burned me like a urinary tract infection
Leaving me wide open like a cesarean section
30 years old still f*cking stressing and full of aggression
But I guess I learned a lesson and was given a blessing with lyrics
Maybe someone out there suffering just like me will hear it