[ Featuring Mathias Kom ]
Two Jeffs
Jeff is a nice name
I know lots of Jeffs
Some spell it with a G and an E and an O
Others just J-E-F-F
Most of the Jeffs in this world are good people
But not all of them
This is a tale of two Jeffs
And it has a sad ending
Jeff #1 started a company
To sell everything to everyone ever
Jeff #2 met the love of his life at Wendy's
Where they were flipping burgers together
Jeff #1 noticed that everyone preferred buying stuff
While on the couch in their underpants
Jeff #2 had three kids to take care of
And one day he saw an advertisement by chance
Whether you're remembered or forgotten by history
You need to decide what kind of Jeff you want to be
Jeff #1 was hiring part-time grunts
To run up and down warehouse aisles
Jeff #2 said any job will do
Put on an employable shirt and a hireable smile
Jeff #1 figured workplace efficiency
With a secret system of algorithms
Jeff #2 took every shift that he could
Though his passion was souping up car stereo systems
Jeff #1, just call him Evil Jeff
I think it's obvious by now he's the villain
And Jeff # 2, he can be Virtuous Jeff
He could only get hired as a seasonal fill-in
Now some say Evil Jeff wasn't evil at all
What's wrong with making a bazillion dollars
Try telling that to people like Virtuous Jeff
Working and watching their own dollars get smaller
Whether you're remembered or forgotten by history
You need to decide what kind of Jeff you want to be
Evil Jeff invented robot spies
And convinced everybody to buy one
But Virtuous Jeff had neither time nor the money
And he didn't want to own his own Dalek or Cylon
Evil Jeff said these humans are working too slowly!
So he increased their hourly targets
He told Virtuous Jeff, son, you just have to work harder
He was selling his sweat, it was a buyer's market
One night when the warehouse was particularly busy
Virtuous Jeff collapsed in the middle of the floor
His fellow workers tried to help the best that they could
But he was dead before the paramedics got to the door
And nothing ever happened to Evil Jeff,
He just keeps playing the role of the villain
But one day there will be one too many Virtuous Jeffs
And they will rise up together and kill him
Whether you're remembered or forgotten by history
You need to decide what kind of Jeff you want to be
Whether we're remembered or forgotten by history
We need to decide what kind of Jeff we want to be
