Ashdotman - Childhood Trauma Lyrics

I was a kid in therapy
Playing with dolls while the psychologist examined me
Asking questions about my chastity
I just wanted a happy family
But I buried shit deep down inside of me
Never spoke a word till now
I just sat there silently
Thinking of these thoughts so violently they frightened me
Defiantly doing it quietly
Singled out in class by a teacher
Claiming that I was an attention seeker
His heads in the clouds, he's a dreamer
Sit me in the corner and point the finger
Then she'd abuse me further and remove my shoes
With a starving stomach cause I've got no food
Questioning my youth what the f*ck did I do?

I was that kid sitting in the corner
I was undiagnosed with a disorder
I was that kid suffering from torture
I can't escape the pain of childhood trauma
I was that kid sitting in the corner
I was undiagnosed with a disorder
I was that kid suffering from torture
I can't escape the pain of childhood trauma

Playtime came and I felt the pain
Last to be picked in every game
Never pass me the ball just curse my name
Beaten up so bad I could feel the shame
Money stollen from my pockets
So now I'm hiding in a closet
Feeling so sick I could vomit
On the tips of their tongues like gossip
I could have been an A star student
Instead I was playing truant
A good kid then became the rudest
So smart but I became imprudent
Late teens I turned to crime
Pissed off at the world inside
Not a f*ck in the world if I cried
I felt all alone and done with life

I was that kid sitting in the corner
I was undiagnosed with a disorder
I was that kid suffering from torture
I can't escape the pain of childhood trauma
I was that kid sitting in the corner
I was undiagnosed with a disorder
I was that kid suffering from torture
I can't escape the pain of childhood trauma

Surrounded so young by alcohol
I guess that made him think I was palpable
Growing up thinking I'm incapable
F*cked up in the head I can't express it all
Everything's so sexual
How do I process this all
Hurting myself how could I be so cruel
Constantly seeking approval
How could these shoulders be broader
Paralysed waist down at the Cauda
Like a lamb being lead to it's slaughter
We drew straws I guess I drew the shorter
Equina syndrome, Now it's all hitting home
Hanging my throat in my mind I can't cope
The childhood trauma has left me broke

I was that kid sitting in the corner
I was undiagnosed with a disorder
I was that kid suffering from torture
I can't escape the pain of childhood trauma
I was that kid sitting in the corner
I was undiagnosed with a disorder
I was that kid suffering from torture
I can't escape the pain of childhood trauma