Well I rolled through Truth or Consequences,
Thought maybe love was on the fences.
Stopped for pie in Cut and Shoot,
But all I found was an old raccoon in a cowboy suit.
Hit the gas through Bugtussle, grinned,
Heard they got sweet tea and stubborn wind.
Asked around in Normal for a sign,
They said, "Son, weird ain't rare - it's by design."
Where the heck's that girl, that wild-eyed pearl,
With a sun-kissed smile and a boot-scoot twirl?
I've searched from Bald Knob down to Yeehaw Junction,
Got a heart full of hope and a trunk full of gumption.
From Sweet Lips to Chicken, ain't leavin' no stone unturned -
I'll turn over every rock in every bar till I find that girl.
Played guitar in Booger Hollow,
Left my heart in a chili bowl to swallow.
Had a beer in Monkey's Eyebrow,
Bartender said, "She ain't been 'round now."
Danced alone in Zzyzx, CA,
Lord, I've seen some strange ol' days.
Even tried Intercourse, Pennsylvania,
But that ain't love - that's just trivia mania.
Where the heck's that girl, that down-home swirl,
With a Daisy Duke sass and a front porch world?
I've searched through Hell, Michigan with flames in my soul,
Tried Boring, Oregon, but it took its toll.
From Lick Skillet to Toad Suck, I'm on this wild whirl -
I'll turn over every rock in every bar till I find that girl.
I don't care if she's in Ding Dong, Texas,
Or stuck in traffic near Slapout, OK -
She's somewhere smilin', drinkin' sweet tea,
And laughin' at fools like me...
Where the heck's that girl, my rhinestone pearl,
With a laugh like lightning and a heart unfurled?
From No Name, Colorado to Santa Claus, GA,
I'm burnin' through maps and bales of hay.
Yeah from Bacon Level to Pie Town, I'm givin' it a whirl -
I'll turn over every rock in every bar...
Till I find that girl.
