Ashford - First Lyrics

It's been awhile since you made up your mind
And I knew this day would come
Kept it from conversations, I tried
Selfish as it was
And I hate the fact that I'm obsessed
It only makes me feel worse
And it hurt, the frustration and the stress
Of wanting to be first
Well I know that I'm not special
But I wanted to feel so
But selfishness consumed me
And I couldn't let you go
I held you like a captive
Until the deed was done
But all I wanted was to be
The first and only one
Time's been passing you've been waiting so long
For my frantic needs to be met
Impatience grows, you know my actions were wrong
But I haven't let go yet
When we speak of it our words are cold like ice
And talking is hard to do
Hesitation has always been my vice
Patience, your virtue
Well I know that I'm not special
But I wanted to feel so
But selfishness consumed me
And I couldn't let you go
I held you like a captive
Until the deed was done
But all I wanted was to be
The first and only one
Now we're here after all this time has passed
The wait will end this time
Thought from then on I'd let you free and relax
But I'm still unsatisfied
Cause when I thought that it was over foolish danger attacked
And I had no way to defend
And arrogance didn't pay me back
Cause being first meant nothing in the end
Well I know that I'm not special
But I wanted to feel so
But selfishness consumed me
And I couldn't let you go
I held you like a captive
Until the deed was done
But all I wanted was to be
The first and only one
The only one