She in Heaven Video (MV)

My words blur together like I can't speak English...
Flames of hell lick up legs
I'm burning
Uh feverish...
They tell me to tell them if the pain is severe yet
Her memory held close deep inside the word dearest...
Please hear this...

I blame the damn pills...
I blame the damn feels...
I blame all that ish that got her killed...
I blame what made her ill
I ain't gonna sit still...
Nearly every day without her presence is bringing me chills...

I cling to the people I need cuz I never know when they'll leave
Which doctor will retire soon
Who gon die next
It's a bruise that chooses not to comment
It sticks with you in pain
Misery and threat
This is theft of identity and stress
She left and now I feel nothing left
She dead
So I feel kinda dead...
What's best
And what lies up ahead...
What will the world suggest
They subject and object suggestions with questions...
Who I let
Yeah let in
Is the ones I won't be forgetting...
I wish she had a semicolon in her sentence no period
Question mark
Or exclamation...
They pulled the pin out my grenade beware of detonation...
My heart a C4 my arteries the wires that are waiting...
I miss you Gamma
When will things be okay again
I don't wanna wait till I see you at the gates
Yo that would leave me out of patience...
I hate this...
You could've helped me
We could've gone through this together
Had each others backs in our stormy weather
You could hug me when I cry
And I could hug you when you cry
But now the only connection I have is when I say my prayers at night...
It just makes me think of the times when I tried suicide
It don't play sides it don't change the size
It's a demon in the works with no compromise...
I guess that's why
Why you died...

In you and so few I will confide...
My mom
My dad
My Therapists and my Psych...
I'm blessed to have them
I know that deep down inside...
I just wish you were partners with them...
I love them all
But I also want you alive...
I wonder if it's a crime that I ask God for a sign
That you are with me all day and night when I fight...
When I'm in my prime
And when I'm on lowest of times...
I cry... When I can't fly
When all I wanna do is deny and deny...