August Ultra - Stage 1 Lyrics

This shit is sticking to my soul like a piece of gum
Thinking 'bout grandma and grandpa up in Elysium
It f*cking sucks I feel the need to numb these feelings
So I'm here just getting higher than Mariah's voice on helium
Wonder what's the meaning of this shit if it's just getting taken
I've got a target I'm tryna hit but I'm feeling aimless
It's made me gracious realzing I'm on this time crunch
But I'm still shaken by the fact it tends to make the eyes gush
Within five months two people I adored
Didn't jump in that sea of death they were thrown overboard
Lives thwarted by cancer Alzheimer's and Parkinson's
Within a year pain's the only thing that both parties in
A partisan is what I was it was the most that I could do
Seeing 'em like this didn't make em loose I'm dropping screws
Topic's too much I hope this is some skewed slumber
I'd hear their voice again as I hit the snooze button

I don't know if I'm dreaming
That's what I don't know
I don't know if I'm dreaming
That's what I don't know that's what I don't know
Am I dreaming
That's what I don't know but I can't let you go
No I can't let you go

These were my first deaths will never forget
How I dropped to the ground like baby's taking their first steps
Been cursed since with this ongoing existential crisis
A voice possessing my head that's saying You're next
My shirt's wet everything I'm thinking of 'em
If I could buy something back the time is what I'd f*cking purchase
It's been a year and I'm still just steady sulking
True catharsis in my head cause I haven't come to terms yet with it
It burns and it's frigid in my body
Luckily the fruits of my labor staying awfully hardy
Dichotomy's odd to me I'm tryna be strong
But there's weakness in not acknowledging what is going on
Pros and cons to this shit lessons learned bandaid's ripped
Soon I'll say that with reality look I came to grips
And make some sense of the future of the present and past
If there's supposed to be heaven then why's my head up in the cloud's bitch

I don't know if I'm dreaming
That's what I don't know
I don't know if I'm dreaming
That's what I don't know that's what I don't know
Am I dreaming
That's what I don't know but I can't let you go
No I can't let you go

Am I dreaming am I dreaming I think I really know now
No need to pinch me both my feet up on the ground
Yeah grief had me like a f*cking peasant bowing down
But I've been learning how to put on my own crown
And I'm homebound now and on that road to peace
A dying seed to a grow tree it's so puzzling
I'm tryna reconnect with this piece of myself
That this death went and stole from me
But I'm waking up

I'm waking up yeah I'm really waking up
I'm waking up yeah I'm really waking up
(Don't wake me up)
I'm waking up yeah I'm really waking up
I'm waking up yeah I'm really waking up
I'm waking up yeah I'm really waking up
I'm waking up yeah I'm really waking up
(Don't wake me up)
I'm waking up yeah I'm really waking up
I'm waking up yeah I'm really waking up

I don't know if I'm dreaming
That's what I don't know
I don't know if I'm dreaming
That's what I don't know that's what I don't know
Am I dreaming
That's what I don't know but I can't let you go
No I can't let you go