AverageJoe - Plastic Fantastic Lyrics

Plastic, elastic, This shit is fantastic,
Don't mind David Attenborough - He's a spastic,
I've got plastic in me t-shirts, plastic in me socks,
Plastic in me jackets and the elastic in me jocks
Plastic on me feet n the form of plastic crocs
An' I've even got plastic in me fur, faux fox,
Plastic in me fork and me takeaway box
And in a hundred thousand years
There'll be plastic in the rocks,
Plastic keeps me pores clean in me facial scrub
And I wash it down the drain with a rub-a-dub-dub
T'F*ck where it goes cos I'm off to the pub
Where I get a plastic cup for me vodka and club,
Not sure I need the first, never mind the second, straw
But I do like the way it accentuates me jaw,
I like to pack a poncho in case of bad weather
And double bag the groceries for good measure,
Whoever invented polystyrene's mad clever
An' how else am I supposed to keep me six pack together?
An' no better buachaill for transportin' fruit
With a styrofoam tray and clingfilm to boot,
A litte orange net or a hard plastic punnet
And if ye see one floatin' out to sea Don't ask me who done it
And f*ck the police and the twenty two cent levy
Dunno what you think but that's a bit f*ckin' heavy
And I'll lose the bleedin' plot if they ever try to enlarge it
But luckily for me, me local shops don't charge it

LDPE you're the one for me,
Polystyrene, in my dreams
Polyurethane will you take my name?
Polyethylene will you be my Queen?

LDPE you're the one for me,
Polystyrene, in my dreams
Polyurethane will you take my name?
Polyethylene will you be my Queen?

Plastic, fantastic, they say it's getting drastic,
But ye couldn't be wrong If ye think I'm bein' sarcastic,
An' call me sap but I still love to play with bubble wrap
Pitter-pitter-pip-pap-pip-pip-pap,
They tell me it's toxic but I build me lego blocks quick
Don't give a f*ck if it makes the fish down at the docks sick,
Sure there's plastic in all me kids toys,
Barbies for the girls,machine guns for the boys,
Bottle of water when I get a thirst on,
Lash it back in two big gulps an' it's gone,
Then I walk on and against the wall I pee it
Leave the bottle on the ground,
Sure ye can hardly f*ckin see it,
Now don't get me wrong
When I'm at home I bin green it
I'm all for recycling just don't ask me to clean it,
An' compostability ain't shit to me
But I do like getting rid of me shit for free,
So yeah, I'm zero waste, Zero wastin' me time
Cos once I'm done it's someone else's problem, not mine.

(Chorus X 2)
They tell me it's toxic,
But I build me lego blocks quick,
Give a f*ck it makes the fish down at the docks sick,
Sure there's plastic in all my kids toys,
Barbie's for the girls, machine guns for the boys,
Bottle of water when I get a thirst on,
Lash it back in two big gulps and it's gone
The I walk on and against the wall I pee it,
Leave the bottle on the ground sure ye can hardy f*ckin' see it,
Now don't get me wrong when I'm home I bin green it,
I'm all for recyclin' Just don't ask me to clean it,
Compostability ain't shit to me,
But I do like to get rid of me shit for free,
So yeah, I'm zero waste,
Zero wastin me time,
Cos once I'm done it's someone else's problem, not mine

LDPE you're the one for me,
Polystyrene, in my dreams
Polyurethane will you take my name?
Polyethylene will you be my Queen?

LDPE you're the one for me,
Polystyrene, in my dreams
Polyurethane will you take my name?
Polyethylene will you be my Queen?