Barenaked Ladies - Gordon Album Lyrics

Hello city ...

Another night at the Palace
'cause there is nothing else to do.
The same people, the same drinks and the same music,
the same quicksand
I think this harbour town is waist deep and sinking fast.

[Chorus:]
Hello city,
You've found an enemy in me
Hello city, hello city.

Second night at the Warehouse,
and my mock turtleneck just reeks.
From the liquor room to the changeroom,
to the doom and gloom
of the hotel room,

I wish this seaside beerhall would
sink into the bay.

[Chorus]

Maybe I caught you at a bad time,
maybe I should call you back next week,
maybe half the fault was mine that
the sun didn't shine on Barrington Street.

It's three o'clock in the morning,
and I'm hungry so let's eat.
Climb down three flights to the streetlights
and the bar-fights, we're just taking in the sights.
I hope tomorrow that I wake up in my own bed.

[Chorus]

Enid, we never really knew each other anyway
Enid, we never really knew each other anyway

It took me a year to believe it was over
And it took me two more to get over the loss, whoa, whoa
I took a beating when you wrote me those letters
And every time I remembered the taste of your lip gloss

Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway
But Enid we never really knew each other anyway

There were times when I wanted to hurt you
And there were times when I know that I did whoa whoa
There were times when I thought I would kill you
But can you blame me I was only a kid

Now tell me why we never respected each other
And tell me why I never believed that you were a person too
I always thought that you fancied my brother
I may not have liked it, oh but memory is a strange thing, oh, and Enid?
Enid I remember you

Enid, we never really knew each other anyway
Enid, we never really knew each other anyway
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway
But Enid we never really knew each other anyway

It took me a year to believe it was over
Oh, and it took me two more to get over the loss
I took a beating when I wrote you those letters
And every time you told me to get lost

Now it's not fair to say that it's
'Cause I was three inches shorter then
And it's not fair to say that it's 'cause
I was only fifteen years old
But maybe it's fair to say it was a lack of communication
I took a phone message, oh and speaking of communication
Oh, and Enid
Enid you got a cold

I can get a job I can pay the phone bills
I can cut the lawn, cut my hair, cut out my cholesterol
I can work overtime I can work in a mine
I can do it all for you
But I don't want to

Enid, we never really knew each other anyway
Enid, we never really knew each other anyway
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway
But Enid, we really never knew each other anyway
Enid, we never really knew each other anyway
Enid, we never really knew each other anyway
Enid, we never really knew each other anyway

I found my locker and I found my classes
Lost my lunch and I broke my glasses,
That guy is huge! That girl is wailin'!
First day of school and I'm already failing.

This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine

I've got a blue-and-red Adidas bag and a humongous binder,
I'm trying my best not to look like a minor niner.
I went out for the football team to prove that I'm a man;
I guess I shouldn't tell them that I like Duran Duran.

This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine

Well, half my friends are crazy and the others are depressed
and none of them can help me study for my math test.
I got into the classroom and my knowledge was gone;
I guess I should've studied instead of watching Wrath Of Khan.

This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine

They called me chicken legs, they called me four-eyes
they called me fatso, they called me buckwheat,
they called me Eddie

This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine

I've got a red leather tie and pair of rugger pants,
I put them on and I went to the high school dance.
Dad said I had to be home by eleven -
aw, man, I'm gonna miss Stairway to Heaven.

This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine

Drove downtown in the rain
Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive
Call it insane
But when I'm surrounded I just can't stop

It's a matter of instinct
It's a matter of conditioning and a matter of fact
You can call me Pavlov's Dog
Ring a bell and I'll salivate
How'd you like that?
Dr. Landy tell me you're not just a pedagogue

'Cause right now I'm lying in bed
Just like Brian Wilson did
Well I am lying in bed
Just like Brian Wilson did

So I'm lying here
Just staring at the ceiling tiles
And I'm thinking about, oh what to think about
Just listening and relistening
To Smiley Smile
And I'm wondering if this is some kind of creative drought

Because I'm lying in bed
Just like Brian Wilson did
Well I am Lying in bed
Just like Brian Wilson did, whoa

And if you want to find me
I'll be out in the sandbox
Just wondering where the hell all the love has gone
I'm playing my guitar and building
Castles in the sun, oh oh oh
And singing "Fun, Fun, Fun"

Lying in bed
Just like Brian Wilson did
Well I am lying in bed
Just like Brian Wilson did, whoa

I had a dream
That I was three hundred pounds
And though I was very heavy
I floated 'til I couldn't see the ground
I floated 'til I couldn't see the ground
Somebody, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me

Because I'm lying in bed
Just like Brian Wilson did
Well I am lying in bed
Just like Brian Wilson did, yeah

Drove downtown in the rain
Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive
You can call it insane, oh oh
But when I'm surrounded
I just can't stop

If there's someone you can live without, then do so
And if there's someone you can just shove out, well do so

You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono, whoa, oh

Isn't it beautiful to see two people so much in love?
Bare naked as two virgins hand in hand, and hand in hand in love
Now that I'm far away it doesn't seem to me to be such a pain
To have you hanging off my ankle like some kind of ball and chain

You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono, whoa oh (be my Yoko)

Oh no, here we go
Our life is just one big pun
Ono, here we go as Yoko sings woo, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho

I know that when I say this
I may be stepping on pins and needles (ho, ho, whoa)
But I don't like all these people slagging her for breaking up the Beatles
(Don't blame it on Yokey)
I mean if I was John and you were Yoko I would gladly give up musical genius
Just to have you as my very own personal Venus

(To, doo, to, to, to, hit it)
You can be my Yoko Ono (oh, whoa, oh)
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono, whoa oh

Be my, be my, be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono, whoa
Be my, be my, be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono, whoa
Be my, be my, be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono, whoa, whoa, oh

I concede that you were right about this place
I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace
I can hold you until you turn out the light
and I can't see

Do you believe that we are all innately good
Do you think that you would love me until tomorrow if you could
Would you please turn down the radio
so we can speak

I put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me
Put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me
I put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me

I regret every time I raised my voice
And it wouldn't be that bright of me to say I had no choice.
I can kiss your eyes your hair your neck
until we forget

I concede that you were right about this place
I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace
I can hold you until we turn out the light
and I can't see
I can't see.

When I was born, they looked at me and said
what a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.
And when you were born, they looked at you and said,
what a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl.

We've got these chains that hang around our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same,
when temptation calls, we just look away.

[Chorus]
This name is the hairshirt I wear,
and this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair.
This song is the cross that I bear,
bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me,
be with me tonight,
I know that it isn't right, but be with me tonight.

I go to school, I write exams,
if I pass, if I fail, if I drop out,
does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget 'cause it won't take much for me
to show my life ain't over yet.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange.
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
and everything around me stays the same.

[Chorus]

I couldn't tell you that I was wrong,
chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song.
I couldn't tell you that you were right,
so instead I looked in the mirror,
watched TV, laid awake all night.

We've got these chains, hang 'round our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same when temptation calls ...

[Chorus]

When I was born, they looked at me and said;
What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.
And when you were born, they looked at you and said;
what a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey

You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet.
So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared,
he's the most peculiar man you'll ever meet.

[Chorus]
You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door.
He's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He hardly even lives there anymore.

He says excuse me, I hope you don't mind
that I followed you into this shop
but I couldn't help but notice that riding crop
Sticking out of your haversack,
Um, I wouldn't mind riding you bareback.
He's subtle on the dancefloor and he's suave around the bar
He's a quickdraw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star.
You know he was quite a singer, quite an actor,
quite some time ago.
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime tv show.

[Chorus]

Well he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
Just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
From the house next door to his house on the lane,
He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he can't complain.

[Chorus]

He's not the King of Bedside Manor
He's not the King of Bedside Manor
Hardly even lives there anymore.

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

He's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king of Bedside Manor.

I never thought that you would love me the way that you do.
I never thought that you would love me half as much as I do.
You say you wanna know everything about me - well here you go,
You say you couldn't live your life without me, I don't know.
But if you want it girl, you've got it;
it's all right here, in my box set.

I never thought that words like product could ever leave my lips,
but something happened to me somewhere that made me lose my grip.
Maybe it's a lack of inspiration that makes me stoop,
or maybe it's a lack of remuneration; I can't recoup.
But if you want it folks, you got it;
it's all right here in my box set.

Disc One
It's where we've begun, it's all of greatest hits,
and if you are a fan then you know that you've already got 'em.

Disc Two
It was all brand new, an album's worth of songs,
but we had to leave the whole disc blank 'cause
some other label bought 'em.

Disc Three
This is really me in a grade school play;
I had about a hundred thousand lines but of course I forgot 'em.

I never thought there'd be days like this, there was always someone at my door.
I never thought I would ever miss, and the crowd would always holler for more.
But now it seems all that people want is what I used to be,
and every time I try to do something new,
all they want is 1973.

I never thought I'd be regretful of all my past success
but some stupid number one hit single has go me in this mess.
You can put it on every compilation - that's alright.
You can hear it on the oldies radio station every night.
And if you want it again, you got it-
it's right here in my box set.

Disc Four
Never released before, and you can tell why.
it's just some demos I recorded in my basement.

Disc Five
I was barely alive, I was coughing up a lung,
so they had to use a special computer as my replacement.

Disc Six
A dance remix, so I can catch the latest trend
and it'll make you scratch your head and wonder
where my taste went.

So now my fans are crying sellout,
they say that I've lost my touch.
They say I should just get the hell out before I do too much.
Hear my songs in an ad for a bathroom cleanser -
they say it's greed,
And now I'm wondering where my friends are in this time of need.
But if you change your mind and buy it,
I hope you enjoy my new box.

I hope you enjoy my new box,
I hope you enjoy my new box set.

[Chorus]
I love you
And you love me
I love you
So let's make a family tree

I like soup, and I like ice cream sandwiches too.
I like fish sticks,
but I love you.
You don't believe me, you say all I think about's myself.
Let me explain, don't walk away.

I love me
You love you
I Love me
So what are we to do?

How would you know that I love you so?
I don't say too much
Why are you blue whenever I'm in town?
I guess life was fine till I came 'round.

You've given me a start, I ain't no doctor
but just take a look at the chart for my heart
like a dart from the start I'm coming
down with something good.
It ain't no fever or flu, doctor says it had
to be someone with brown hair and blue eyes, I'm
lovesick for you I realize.

I's loves you
And youse loves me.
I's loves you
So let's make a family tree.

How did you know that I loved you so?
I don't say too much.
Why are you blue whenever I'm in town?
I guess life was fine till I came 'round.

[Chorus]

I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sore
'Cause you can see my face in the window of every store
You can buy my lunch box, and you can wear my clothes
You can remember my name just as plain as the face under your nose

I'm a new kid on the block
Though I may not be Johann Sebastian Bach
So we may not write the songs we sing
But look at Elvis, he sold his soul and
You crowned him king

I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sad
You see, I've got everything that I always wished I had
I thank my manager and I thank the screaming girls, oh
I thank my hairdresser for giving me such beautiful curls

Now I'm a new kid on the block
Well I'm twenty-three and they won't let me grow up
I went down to register for the draft
Well I got up to the counter, and the lady there just laughed

She said you're a new kid on the block
Young girls scream and old boys mock
Well you broke my youngest daughter's heart
Well I knew you kids were trouble from the start

I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sure
That we're as apple pie as you always thought we were
I can stay up all night, and I can have a blast
I can breakdance, I can fight, I can kick your sorry ass

I'm a new kid on the block
And 'though I may not be Johann Sebastian Back
Well there's no need to be afraid of us
Though it just might be your daughter on our bus

I'm a new kid on the block (step one, that was fun)
And 'though I may not be Johann Sebastian Back (think of what you say, think of what you do)
Well there's no need to be afraid of us (whoa, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh)
Though it just might be your daughter on our bus (hey, yeah, hey)

Here we are again
and we're looking at each other as if each other were to blame.
You think you're so smart, but I've seen you naked
and I'll probably see you naked again.
MillI Vanilli told you to Blame it On The Rain
but if you blame it on the rain tell me
what can be gained so, if all else fails you can blame it on me.

[Chorus]
If all else fails you can blame it on me.
If all else fails you can blame it on me.
If all else fails blame it on me.
If all else fails you can blame it on me.

Then you smile again
but you're looking at me as if there's something I'm supposed to say.
Forgive me Father,
but I'm falling in love and that's all I have for confession today.
Maybe if you'd ask me on any other given day
I wouldn't have time for you or anything that you say
but it's alright now, you can blame it on me.

[Chorus]

Yes dear I love you,
but sometimes I think that love's not enough for you.
So you want to play mind games,
well that's fine, go ahead, la la la I can't hear you.
Here you are
and you're a hundred thousand miles away;
They say that absence makes the heart grow fungus.
I wax poetic as you're waxing your legs,
you say you think there's a traitor among us.

[Chorus]

The phone rings, it's early, it's seven o'clock.
He says sorry I woke you, but I just had to talk
You know last night, remember when I tried to choke you?
I didn't mean it, I was drunk, it was only a joke.
You should know that by now,
when the chequered flag comes down,
no one no one no one has won the race.

The next night he's over and over and under
and after he's finished she lies there and wonders
just why does she need him and why does she stay here
and then in the darkness she'll quietly say Dear,
you've never really known that when the white flag is flown,
no one no one no one has won the war.

They're complicated people
leading complicated lives,
and he complicates their problems
by telling complicated lies
He tells her he's sorry, she tells him it's over,
he tells her he's sorry, she says over and over
You've never really known that when the white flag is flown,
no one no one no one has won the war.

There goes a forest and there goes a bluebird
There goes a partridge and there goes a Go Train
There goes an angel and there goes a steeple
There goes a cop car and there goes an eagle
There goes a raven and there go the ribbons
There goes a raven and there go the ribbons
There goes a raven and there go

The ribbons the ribbons the ribbons
The ribbons of the flag.

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice Reliant automobile)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love.

If I Had $1000000 I'd build a tree fort in our yard.
If I Had $1000000 You could help, it wouldn't be that hard.
If I Had $1000000 (Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somwhere.)
We could just go up and hang out. (Open the fridge and stuff. There would be
food laid out for us, little pre-wrapped sausages and things.) Mmmm. (They have
pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon.) Can you blame
them? (Well, yeah!)

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you an exotic pet (Like a llama or an emu)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (ooh all them crazy elephant bones)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love

If I Had $1000000 We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I Had $1000000 We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I Had $1000000 We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner.
But we would eat Kraft Dinner. Well of course we would we'd just eat more. And
buy all the fanciest ketchups for it...dijon ketchup! Mmmm..

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress that's cruel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love

If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
If I Had $1000000
I'd be rich.

I climb the walls of my mind just like I'm climbing on a jungle gym
I am more than content with the
state of mind I am in
'cause I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.

I don't think I need a rubber room,
but hey, that might be nice
I'm not a manic depressive paranoid or schizophrenic
so I don't need your advice.
I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.

The lights are on but nobody's home
my elevator doesn't go to the top
I'm not playing with a full deck
I've lost my marbles
The lights are on but nobody's home
my elevator doesn't go to the top
I'm not playing with a full deck
I've lost my marbles.

I'm a few bricks short of a load,
but a full load always hurt my back.
I flew over the cuckoo's nest and
I'm never ever coming back because
I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.
I am crazy.