it still comes in waves Video (MV)

If you are the world
What am I to you?
If I was the sun
Would I see through you?
I'm so sick of twisting up into a knot so tight the rope breaks
I'm tired of calling you again whenever my heart aches

So tell me when will I stop f*cking up?
'Cause the past year was all mistakes
I think I'm better
But the pain still comes in waves

I'm no martyr, I'm a mess
I'm the tear in your best dress
I'm the one thing out of line in the heat of late July
I'm the rain that ruins your day trip with your lovely little family
An image of perfection, something I'll never be
Do you see me in the portrait on your wall?
Painted in red, I'm left for dead
Among the others you forgot along the way to heaven
I place I don't deserve
So let me burn
Eternal summer