Beating Edge - Retro Xmas (feat. The Corking Crack Band) Lyrics

And of course they spent the whole of Christmas with two nuns and a rocket
Just take a look around
Can't you hear that sound
It's Santa calling out your name
Join the laughter, play the game
Jingle bells, the snowflakes fall
Santa's here to greet us all
Magic's in the air tonight
Christmas cheer, oh what a sight
Candy canes and mistletoe
Hanging by the fire's glow
Reindeer flying through the sky
Look, there's Rudolph passing by
Jingle bells, the snowflakes fall
Santa's here to greet us all
Magic's in the air tonight
Christmas cheer, oh what a sight
Dear Santa, won't you hear my plea,
Bring me a Commodore under the tree
Or maybe an arcade down the hall
I'll be the champion, standing tall
Jingle bells, the snowflakes fall
Santa's here to greet us all
Magic's in the air tonight
Christmas cheer, oh what a sight
Merry Christmas
Okay, that was Beating Edge with Retro Xmas and you're listening to TTFN Radio - bringing you music I philosophically despise all round the clock
You know I'm a simple man from simple times... when men were men, women were women and anyone who didn't conform to my overly simplistic philosophy kept their damn mouth shut
Now you have these all 'inclusive' people like Beating Edge - acting as though everyone deserves to be treated with empathy and human dignity and who think people should be held responsible to their actions and character and not to the happenstance of their birth
Well, It makes me sick
And then they trot out this musical drivel espousing joy and love with funky rhythms and melodies that make the heart soar in delight
Well not on my watch listeners
Not on my Nelly
I mean Rolf Harris - he knew how to sing about Christmas. Jimmy Savile, he was another one that knew what-was-what
I mean even I could do better than Beating Edge
Well go on then
Whoa who in Santa's jingly baubles are you and where in the name of creamy liqueurs did you come from
Oooo get you
Well mater and pater said I was too innocent to be told where I came from
But I can tell you I am the Christmas fairy from the top your bigoted Christmas tree. I'm gonna give you a verbal beating to the edge of your life
Alright, steady on
Oh I'm sorry about that
Well yeah I'm only trying to ask what's going on
Look - Here I'm splitting you in five
Hello
And giving you each top quality instruments
Where
There you go - let hear your Christmas classic
Well, okay, let's have some drums, drums
Yeah
Um
Classic
Bass guitar, okay
Yeah
Let's have some rhythm - rhythm guitar
Okay, now we're cooking
Right, okay
Let's have some more
Right, okay
Christmas
Oh, the ruddy wokes
Christmas and the wokes
And I hate them, baby
Oh yeah, the woke people just destroy the world with their bloody telling me what I can't say
Don't say that you silly boy yeah yeah, yeah, yeah
But I'm not silly I know what I'm saying because my mummy told me, oh yeah
And now it's bloody Christmas ruined
By, by, I'm not allowed to even to call snow white anymore
The snow's white baby
I can see it in my eyes
I can see the white snow, baby
Don't you tell me it ain't there cos I can see it
Guitar solo
Ok ok just leave it there
Just leave it
Walk away
Did it
Was it ok
What do you think
Ok
I'm sorry Beating Edge
Yes, you are
I'm sorry
Merry Christmas
Right, we'd better get that tree back up my bottom