Begonia - Marigold Lyrics

Sitting in the bleachers
Waiting for my time
Crushes on all the student teachers
Searching for that perfect line

I always wanted just to fit in, but couldn't sit in
The role of what a woman should be
And when the girls came around in jerseys hard to play down
I was weak in the knees

Remember how I felt back then
Scared to tell any of my friends
Was it contextual?
Or am I bisexual?

Standing on a church pew
Screaming out to something
Never wanted to hurt you
And I can't say all that shit meant nothing

I always knew I couldn't live up, needed to give up
What they said I was called to be
And when you asked me to choose between god and you
It's true I chose myself and me

Remember how I felt back then
Sometimes I still feel it again
I don't really mind it
Still trying to find it

Used to lean on it like a crutch
Now I know I don't know that much
I might be unsteady
But maybe I'm ready

Maybe I'm ready