Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears - Mustang Ranch Lyrics

Hey, we got a job on our way
From Salt Lake City to San Francisco overnight
It's a long drive man, ain't nothing to do
We were bored on the way
Me and Bill up in the front
I said, "Man is that a UFO"?
He said, "I think it is
I think there's two"
I said, "Man is that place Mustang Ranch on the way?"
He said, "Yeah, let's call 'em up"
Called the girl up on the phone
She said, "Hello"
I said, "How much would it be for me to come over and get my
My, my, my ham glazed?
She said
Woo

How fast does love come for
You know its gonna have to come real cheap

We pulled up there 'round 7 o'clock in the mornin'
Big old fat dude come up
Comin" around the car with a gun on his hip
He said "Watcha all want"?
"We just hop in the van to get our ham roasted"
He said, "I need to see some ID"
Showed him ID and he got up in the van
Dagwood went back to sleep like he always is
Dude put his flashlight in his face
Dagwood looks over and says, "What's goin" on?"
Hey

Gonna need some id boys
You don't come in here messin' with my place

Went in there and two good ol' bad girls come on
Sitting on both sides of me
They say, "What's up baby"?
I said "Now what's going with yo?"
"Whatchu want?"
I said, "I want my ham to get glazed"
She said, "Well come here in the back and we'll talk about it"
She said, "You need a threesome"
I say, "I only need take one to get my ham glazed"
She say, "How much money you got"
I say, "I got about twenty dollars"
She says no

You gonna need more than that, boy
I ain't no bad free wild girl
Gonna rock that Ranch to pay
Gettin' in the way you drink

Now Bill got to find wandering eye
She came out the back in her underwear
Lookin' fine and I was jealous
She took him by the hand
And he went back to the jungle room
And his teeth were chattering
And he was sweating bullets cause he was so damn scared
And she sat him down on the couch put her hand on his leg
And said, "Whatchu wanna do with me?"
He says, "I want my ham to be glazed"
She says, "How much money you got?"
He says, "Twenty dollars"
And she says oh

You gonna need more than that boy
If you gettin' gonna get with me
At the Mustang Ranch you pay
Gettin' in the way you be