Well, I wake up in the morning
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There's frogs inside my socks
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Your mama, she's a-hidin'
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Inside the icebox
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Your daddy walks in wearin'
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A Napoleon Bonarparte mask
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Then you ask why I don't live here
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Honey, do you have to ask ?
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Well, I got to pet your monkey
I get a face full of claws
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I ask who's in the fireplace
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And you tell me Santa Claus
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The milkman comes in
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He's wearing a derby hat
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And you ask why I don't live here
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Honey, how come you have to ask me that ?
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Well, I asked for something to eat
I'm hungry as a hog
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So I get brown rice, seaweed
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And a dirty hot dog
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I've got a hole
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Where my stomach disappeared
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Then you ask why I don't live here
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Honey, I gotta think you're really weird.
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Your grandpa's cane
It turns into a sword
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Your grandma prays to pictures
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That are pasted on a board
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Everything inside my pockets
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Your uncle steals
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And you ask me why I don't live here
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Honey, I can't believe that you're for real.
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Well, there's fist fight in the kitchen
They're enough to make me cry
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The mailman comes in
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Even he's gotta take a side
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Even the butler
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He's got something to prove
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Then you ask me why I don't live here
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Honey, how come you don't move ?
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