(Stephin Merritt, Kenny Mellman, & Bob's Burgers)
[Gene:]
All right! Let's show these people that if it ain't man-on-elephant love, it ain't worth singin' about!
[Mr. Dinkler:]
(clears throat) Attention, everyone, we have a very special treat for you. It's a musical re-imagine-actenment of the very uplifting story of Thomas Edison and Topsy the elephant!
[Fischoeder:]
They say Thomas Edison, he's the man to get us
Into this century, and that man is me
[Gayle:]
They'll say "Aw, Topsy!" at my autopsy
And no one could be, more shocked than me
[Fischoeder:]But I never noticed the curve of her trunk
[Gayle:]
And I never noticed his electric junk
[Both:]
We might just have found
Electric love
Electric love
Electric love
Electric love
[(Choir:]First he wanted to kill her off, now they've found an electric love)
Electric love
(First he wanted to kill her off, now they've found an electric love)
Fits like a glove
[Louise:]
This is what really happened, people! THIS MAN, THOMAS EDISON, SENTENCED TOPSY, THAT BEAUTIFUL ELEPHANT, TO DIE BY ELECTROCUTION!!! HA HA HA HA!!
[Bob:]
Uh-oh.
[Louise:]
HERE'S YOUR HERO, DINKLER! HIT IT!!!
[Teddy:]
Is that you, Louise?
[Louise:]
HIT IT!!!
[Teddy:]
I've been down here so long. What's it like out there? Are people still the same with their funny ways?
[Louise:]
TEDDY, HIT IT!!!!
[Teddy:]
Oh, right, the thing we're doin'.
(electricity crackles, Tina hyperventilates)
[Linda:]
Oh!
[Bob:]
TINA!!!
[Louise:]
TINA!!!
[Gene:]
Tina?
(dramatic music)
[Tina:]
I'm okay.
[Bob:]
Oh, thank God!
[Linda:]
Oh! Oh, God!
[Louise:]
Oof!
[Tina:]
I thought we weren't doing the death scene, but I saw the sparks and went with it. Was I convincing?
[Bob:]
Yes. Very.
[Louise:]
Oh my God! I almost electrocuted my sister! I've become Edison.
[Mr. Dinkler:]
Oh, you wish! So he electrocuted animals, so what?! As if everyone here's so perfect! (sobs)
[Linda:]
Coulda asked me to sing, but whatever. I coulda sung it.
[Bob:]
Louise, is there something you wanna say to your sister?
[Louise:]
Tina, I'm really sorry I wanted to kill you. I got carried away with the Dinkler thing. Which worked out pretty well, but still, I shouldn't have almost killed you.
[Tina:]
It's okay. This is how Topsy would've wanted it. But with more trampling people.
[Louise:]
And, Gene, I'm sorry to you, too. Your song was really good.
[Gene:]
I know. And without a single fart sound. OH MY GOD, I FORGOT THE FART SOUNDS!!
[Fischoeder and Gayle:]
Electric love
Electric love
Electric love
Electric love
[(Choir:]First he wanted to kill her off, now they've found an electric love)
Electric love
(First he wanted to kill her off, now they've found an electric love)
Fits like a glove