(John Roberts, Larry Murphy, & Bob's Burger)
[Linda:]
He crashes on your couch when he loses his job
A guy pulls a knife, and you jump in front
You take the blade right in the gut!
Ow! Then he holds your hand till the medic comes
You feed him soup when he breaks his jaw
You help him pee when he has that thing
He's your best friend.
[Teddy:]
He crashes on your couch when he loses his job
He helps you pee when you've got that thing
He's your best friend
[Both:]
Your best friend!