Boniface - Making Peace With Suburbia Lyrics

I'm drunk in a hotel pool
Pretending I haven't been born yet
You said, "I hate to see you like this
And I'm worried 'bout you in that apartment"
And I'm crying on a queen-sized bed
You called, but I'd already passed out
I woke up to your text
It was a picture of your breast
It said, "I hope you come around"
I guess I never did

Do you remember the words that you said
And those summer nights when you remade me?
Pulling smoke from my mouth
Dancing up to the house
I remember the sound of your car
Taking bets on the shit we'd get into
Playing "Chelsea Hotel No. 2" for you
In my old attic apartment

Now I'm saying that I want you back
But what I really mean is
I just wanna feel clean again
I'm saying that I want you back
But I just want to feel young
And I just want to feel loved
And if you gave me the chance
I would just let you down
All again and again and again and again
And if you gave me the chance
I'd end up just like them
All again and again and again and again and again

I was pacing the room like a cage
Trying to arrange the words to explain this
But my thoughts are too scattered and frayed
And I'm not even sure if I'm sorry
But I remember every single word
On those hot nights when you'd rearrange me
You'd whisper beneath sheets like a rose in
Your teeth melting me with your Absinthe
And we'd drift off to sleep in front
Of the TV watching them running into the ground

Now I'm saying that I want you back
But what I really mean is
I just wanna feel clean again
I'm saying that I want you back
But I just want to feel young
And I just want to feel loved
And if you gave me the chance
I would just let you down
All again and again and again and again
And if you gave me the chance
I'd end up just like them
All again and again and again and again

And if you gave me the chance
If you gave me the chance
If you gave me the chance
If you gave me the chance
I'd end up just like them
I'd end up just like them
I'd end up

At home, losing track of the days
Trying hard to be strong, but I'm not yet
I keep dreaming I'm home, still
I head for the coast
God, I'm stubborn as a child
But I said I remember it all
Just like honey, your car, 1440
It's not in me tonight
But God, I would have
Died in that car for you, darling
I guess I'm saying that I'm happy
That you found someone more tangible
And honest to hold on to
And saying that when I come back
I will try and belong to this place
I'm a stranger to