I used to handicap me, deliberately
I used to inhibit me, intentionally
But now it happens to me, accidentally
I used to shake thru the night, in imagined fright,
I used to run from bad dreams, hypothetically
But now they come to me, in reality
We create, time dictates we turn upon ourselves
First we break, compensate then repeat until the end, of time
I used to punish myself, and everyone else
I always planned to reverse, this embraced curse
Now it overtakes me, independently
We can't change what remains, just embrace what was salvaged
First reject then accept, mourn the loss of when wanted, more
I used to want everything, regrettably
I used to hold out for more, lamentably
Now nothing satisfies me, effortlessly
We found out what worked out, abolish everything
We don't love, begrudge snub, forget, and then turn a gouged eye
Don't trust what you love
You've been wrong before
Stay strong, forge on skeptically