Narrator:
Long ago in London
1800-something
12/24 the day before Christmas
There's a greedy old geezer
Named Ebenezer
A mean man of money and of business
He never laughs and he's never smiled
He's a total dick to man, woman, and child
And a total jerk to Bob Cratchit his clerk
He hates Christmas and he hates fun
And he really hates you, he hates everyone
The only things he doesn't hate are making money and work
And if you say "Happy Holidays"
Hе'll shout his favorite phrase
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Therе's no meaner dude
Than Ebenezer Scrooge
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
If you see his frowny face
Just turn and run away
'Cause he's gonna come and ruin your day
There's no meaner dude, than Ebenezer Scrooge
So Scrooge is working
And his clerk is clerking
When in walks Fred, Scrooge's nephew
Fred:
Hi Scrooge, Merry Christmas
Scrooge:
What the hell is this?
Fred:
Merry Christmas uncle, God bless you!
Scrooge:
What's so "merry" about it, Fred?
Aren't you still super poor? Aren't you still in debt?
Fred:
Well what's so shitty about it, Scrooge?
You're still rich
Scrooge:
Hmph
Fred:
Uncle Scrooge, I'm just saying "Hey"
And inviting you to dinner on Christmas Day
You're my family even though you're a total dick
Narrator:
Scrooge looks at his nephew's face
He knows the perfect thing to say
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Scrooge:
Christmas with you and your wife?
I'd rather take my own life
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Scrooge:
Goodbye, good afternoon
Fred:
Okay, I love you too
Narrator:
Fred, he's not surprised
He always knew
There's no meaner man than Ebenezer Scrooge
Charity Collector #2:
Just then...
Charity Collector #1:
Two men
Both Charity Collectors:
Come up to the door
Charity Collector #2:
Requestin'
Charity Collector #1:
Collectin'
Both Charity Collectors:
Donations for the poor
They don't know that Scrooge is greedy
That he doesn't care about the needy
So they ask old Ebenezey
"Please show some love"
Scrooge kicks them out with a big old
Charity Collector and Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Here's my man, Bob Cratchit
Wrapped up in a warm jacket
'Cause Scrooge keeps the place freakin' freezing
Bob Cratchit:
Um, Mr. Scrooge, sir?
Not to be rude, sir
Scrooge:
Goddamnit Cratchit, start speaking
Bob Cratchit:
Well you see, my family
They're kind of a real big deal to me
Narrator:
His words trails off in a voice, timid and soft
Bob Cratchit:
And I was thinking, since tomorrow's Christmas
And generally a pretty slow day for business
Scrooge:
Let me guess Bob, you'd like tomorrow off?
Bob Cratchit, spoken:
Y-yes, sir
Scrooge, sung:
So let me get this straight
You don't work, but still get paid?
Why don't you just rob me, Bobby?
Or steal food from my plate?
You're lucky I'm so understanding
Even though you're so demanding
Okay, have your way
Come in early the following day!
But before you go, please wait
There's something I need to say
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
The sun goes down on London town
Ensemble:
Scrooge closes up and he heads out
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
He gets back home but doesn't know
Ensemble:
This Christmas, he won't be alone
And though the day is done
Scrooge's tale has just begun
Let's see how he does this Christmas
'Cause it's the story of
The meanest man there ever was
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
The rudest dude you ever knew
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
The crabbiest
Scumbaggiest
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
The grouchiest
The frowniest
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
The angriest hater
The crankiest neighbor
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
The greediest geezer
The cruelest creature
No one meaner than Ebenezer Scrooge!
Bah Humbug! Video (MV)
Cast of VHS Christmas Carols - Bah Humbug! Lyrics
We currently do not have these lyrics.
If you would like to submit them, please use the form below.
We currently do not have these lyrics.
If you would like to submit them, please use the form below.
Narrator:
Long ago in London
1800-something
12/24 the day before Christmas
There's a greedy old geezer
Named Ebenezer
A mean man of money and of business
He never laughs and he's never smiled
He's a total dick to man, woman, and child
And a total jerk to Bob Cratchit his clerk
He hates Christmas and he hates fun
And he really hates you, he hates everyone
The only things he doesn't hate are making money and work
And if you say "Happy Holidays"
Hе'll shout his favorite phrase
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Therе's no meaner dude
Than Ebenezer Scrooge
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
If you see his frowny face
Just turn and run away
'Cause he's gonna come and ruin your day
There's no meaner dude, than Ebenezer Scrooge
So Scrooge is working
And his clerk is clerking
When in walks Fred, Scrooge's nephew
Fred:
Hi Scrooge, Merry Christmas
Scrooge:
What the hell is this?
Fred:
Merry Christmas uncle, God bless you!
Scrooge:
What's so "merry" about it, Fred?
Aren't you still super poor? Aren't you still in debt?
Fred:
Well what's so shitty about it, Scrooge?
You're still rich
Scrooge:
Hmph
Fred:
Uncle Scrooge, I'm just saying "Hey"
And inviting you to dinner on Christmas Day
You're my family even though you're a total dick
Narrator:
Scrooge looks at his nephew's face
He knows the perfect thing to say
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Scrooge:
Christmas with you and your wife?
I'd rather take my own life
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Scrooge:
Goodbye, good afternoon
Fred:
Okay, I love you too
Narrator:
Fred, he's not surprised
He always knew
There's no meaner man than Ebenezer Scrooge
Charity Collector #2:
Just then...
Charity Collector #1:
Two men
Both Charity Collectors:
Come up to the door
Charity Collector #2:
Requestin'
Charity Collector #1:
Collectin'
Both Charity Collectors:
Donations for the poor
They don't know that Scrooge is greedy
That he doesn't care about the needy
So they ask old Ebenezey
"Please show some love"
Scrooge kicks them out with a big old
Charity Collector and Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Here's my man, Bob Cratchit
Wrapped up in a warm jacket
'Cause Scrooge keeps the place freakin' freezing
Bob Cratchit:
Um, Mr. Scrooge, sir?
Not to be rude, sir
Scrooge:
Goddamnit Cratchit, start speaking
Bob Cratchit:
Well you see, my family
They're kind of a real big deal to me
Narrator:
His words trails off in a voice, timid and soft
Bob Cratchit:
And I was thinking, since tomorrow's Christmas
And generally a pretty slow day for business
Scrooge:
Let me guess Bob, you'd like tomorrow off?
Bob Cratchit, spoken:
Y-yes, sir
Scrooge, sung:
So let me get this straight
You don't work, but still get paid?
Why don't you just rob me, Bobby?
Or steal food from my plate?
You're lucky I'm so understanding
Even though you're so demanding
Okay, have your way
Come in early the following day!
But before you go, please wait
There's something I need to say
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
The sun goes down on London town
Ensemble:
Scrooge closes up and he heads out
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
He gets back home but doesn't know
Ensemble:
This Christmas, he won't be alone
And though the day is done
Scrooge's tale has just begun
Let's see how he does this Christmas
'Cause it's the story of
The meanest man there ever was
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
The rudest dude you ever knew
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
The crabbiest
Scumbaggiest
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
The grouchiest
The frowniest
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
The angriest hater
The crankiest neighbor
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
The greediest geezer
The cruelest creature
No one meaner than Ebenezer Scrooge!
Long ago in London
1800-something
12/24 the day before Christmas
There's a greedy old geezer
Named Ebenezer
A mean man of money and of business
He never laughs and he's never smiled
He's a total dick to man, woman, and child
And a total jerk to Bob Cratchit his clerk
He hates Christmas and he hates fun
And he really hates you, he hates everyone
The only things he doesn't hate are making money and work
And if you say "Happy Holidays"
Hе'll shout his favorite phrase
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Therе's no meaner dude
Than Ebenezer Scrooge
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
If you see his frowny face
Just turn and run away
'Cause he's gonna come and ruin your day
There's no meaner dude, than Ebenezer Scrooge
So Scrooge is working
And his clerk is clerking
When in walks Fred, Scrooge's nephew
Fred:
Hi Scrooge, Merry Christmas
Scrooge:
What the hell is this?
Fred:
Merry Christmas uncle, God bless you!
Scrooge:
What's so "merry" about it, Fred?
Aren't you still super poor? Aren't you still in debt?
Fred:
Well what's so shitty about it, Scrooge?
You're still rich
Scrooge:
Hmph
Fred:
Uncle Scrooge, I'm just saying "Hey"
And inviting you to dinner on Christmas Day
You're my family even though you're a total dick
Narrator:
Scrooge looks at his nephew's face
He knows the perfect thing to say
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Scrooge:
Christmas with you and your wife?
I'd rather take my own life
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Scrooge:
Goodbye, good afternoon
Fred:
Okay, I love you too
Narrator:
Fred, he's not surprised
He always knew
There's no meaner man than Ebenezer Scrooge
Charity Collector #2:
Just then...
Charity Collector #1:
Two men
Both Charity Collectors:
Come up to the door
Charity Collector #2:
Requestin'
Charity Collector #1:
Collectin'
Both Charity Collectors:
Donations for the poor
They don't know that Scrooge is greedy
That he doesn't care about the needy
So they ask old Ebenezey
"Please show some love"
Scrooge kicks them out with a big old
Charity Collector and Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Here's my man, Bob Cratchit
Wrapped up in a warm jacket
'Cause Scrooge keeps the place freakin' freezing
Bob Cratchit:
Um, Mr. Scrooge, sir?
Not to be rude, sir
Scrooge:
Goddamnit Cratchit, start speaking
Bob Cratchit:
Well you see, my family
They're kind of a real big deal to me
Narrator:
His words trails off in a voice, timid and soft
Bob Cratchit:
And I was thinking, since tomorrow's Christmas
And generally a pretty slow day for business
Scrooge:
Let me guess Bob, you'd like tomorrow off?
Bob Cratchit, spoken:
Y-yes, sir
Scrooge, sung:
So let me get this straight
You don't work, but still get paid?
Why don't you just rob me, Bobby?
Or steal food from my plate?
You're lucky I'm so understanding
Even though you're so demanding
Okay, have your way
Come in early the following day!
But before you go, please wait
There's something I need to say
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
The sun goes down on London town
Ensemble:
Scrooge closes up and he heads out
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble and Narrator:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
Narrator:
He gets back home but doesn't know
Ensemble:
This Christmas, he won't be alone
And though the day is done
Scrooge's tale has just begun
Let's see how he does this Christmas
'Cause it's the story of
The meanest man there ever was
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
The rudest dude you ever knew
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
Bah Humbug!
The crabbiest
Scumbaggiest
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
The grouchiest
The frowniest
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
The angriest hater
The crankiest neighbor
Scrooge:
Bah Humbug!
Ensemble:
The greediest geezer
The cruelest creature
No one meaner than Ebenezer Scrooge!