I've looked near and far
I've looked under tables and chairs
I can't find it anywhere
And trust me, I've looked real hard
But I can't seem to find my
Weed jar
I'll search again
But I've already looked under all my friends
I even tore the seats out my car
I've looked everywhere
I just need to think
So, I went to my buddy Mike
Just to see if he had just a tiny bit extra
But that crazy motherf*cker was in a field
Half-baked grazing a pasture
So, I went back home
I had to lift the sofa up alone
And that sucker's heavy as hell
None of it seems fair
I'll keep looking
I'll keep searching
Until I find my
Weed jar
I've looked under tables and chairs
But that f*cking thing ain't nowhere
But I just had it right here
I've even tried picking stems out my hair
It's got to be somewhere
Oh, there it is
Hey Kim, can I borrow a lighter?"