Crr - ABOVE WATER Lyrics

I can't keep my head above the water much longer
Swimming in the high tides searching on a cold night
The dark is only getting darker it's harder
I can't keep my head above the water much longer

Yeah if you made a list of people that you trusted would you put your name down?
Do you know who you are?
When you look at life and you talk about yours do you feel proud?
Are you leaving a mark or scared to make a bad impression so you just go hide in the dark?
Livin' and playin' a part knowin' regret'll come back up tomorrow
That's what it does ain't it? Don't know what we're chasin' but we all do it
Just a part of life I guess we're all foolish
Running after what we think will make us happy 'til it falls through
And then we find out later it ain't what we wanted
So we give up on it then we pile the garbage
And we watch it grow and find a drug to numb it
'Til we hit the point that we can barely function
Am I motivated? Is my music dated?
Would I be the same if I was medicated?
Even therapists say I need medication
I avoid it though because I'm scared to take it
Am I the only one that has a loaded gun
That's full of doubts and memories to overcome?
And I complain about 'em when they shoot at me
But I know truthfully I like to load 'em up and let 'em

Travel in my brain woo might find damage and no grace
Things that I hold on to but I won't say things that I won't let go
So I chain my soul to the heartbreak
Havin' a nice day that's not a average in my case
Don't like cameras in my face; glamour it's all fake
Love my job but it might seem odd that I'm here 'cause I hate fame
Yeah

I can't keep my head above the water much longer
Swimming in the high tide searching on a cold night
The dark is only getting darker it's harder
I can't keep my head above the water much longer

'Cause to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though
'Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow
But I'm sorry Mama for "Cleanin' Out My Closet"
At the time I was angry rightfully? Maybe so
Never meant that far to take it though
'Cause now I know it's not your fault and I'm not makin' jokes
That song I no longer play at shows
And I cringe every time it's on the radio
And I think of Nathan being placed in a home
And all the medicine you fed us and
How I just wanted you to taste your own
But now the medication's takin' over
And your mental state's deterioratin' slow
And I'm way too old to cry this shit is painful though
But Ma I forgive you so does Nathan yo
All you did all you said you did your best to raise us both
Foster care that cross you bear few may be as heavy as yours
But I love you Debbie Mathers
Oh what a tangled web we have 'cause
One thing I never asked was
Where the f*ck my deadbeat dad was
F*ck it I guess he had trouble keepin' up with every address

I can't keep my head above the water much longer
Swimming in the high tide
Searching on a cold night
The dark is only getting darker it's harder
I can't keep my head above the water much longer