Cryptic Wisdom - Bottom Out Lyrics

I made it to the top at my rock bottom, bottoming out
Hollow and proud, who the f*ck am I? I got em in doubt
Like was I ever really sober when I told you it was over
As I'm loading up the coldest winter boulders in my bowl
It wasn't like me, I was never dripping, I was icy
Made a living on fact and fiction until they hyped me
But I wasn't ready cuz it got heavy and heavier fast
Way in the thick of it, talking different and carrying bags
That weren't even mine - boom - I stepped in it definitely
And it's like immediately it became evident
To me that I'd never know peace or take a breath again
At least not without grief - when I wasn't helping men in need
Women wanted to seduce me, but they broke me
I needed love and it made me hate groupies
You ain't ever gonna take from me again
I wrap my heart in black tourmaline and tumble to win - mothaf*cka

I don't know what's wrong with my brain
But I know that I can't ever change if I don't try
Don't know what you want me to say
I'm a stone, lemme stay on my own cuz I don't mind
I don't think I need your help
I don't care how hard you try
It's just me, myself and I
Don't try

The only one I trust is my girl
That's my life, you don't wanna f*ck with my world
That's my word, lemme spell it out for the class
The only CD that we see is a mountain of cash
It's bigger than music, this is the generational worth
We make the money circulate like a plate at the church
You think it's cake, but this is high stake
This is f*ck everybody, out of my face
I am not the same cat that I was back in the day
I had to be saved and it was either that or decay
I picked a path, got my lazy ass outta the way
And took advantage of the automatic fact that I'm great
Cuz it's the truth and I never need a verse to manifest
I shadow box so I can reverse the damages
Of my programming, I'm a man first and foremost
And life's short, I ain't got the energy for foes or your goals

I don't know what's wrong with my brain
But I know that I can't ever change if I don't try
Don't know what you want me to say
I'm a stone, lemme stay on my own cuz I don't mind
I don't think I need your help
I don't care how hard you try
It's just me, myself and I
Don't try