Living with all my demons within me, they're wreaking havoc
I try to hush the voices, ignore 'em but I just haven't
Been able to find some silence, lock myself in the attic
Of my own mindscape to escape from being attacked
It's a tactic that some would say is dramatic and I should face it
Go down into the dark with the skeletons in my basement
Feels like forever passed and I wonder where all the days went
And if Ii really chose this depression to go and waste it
I'm only eighteen got a brighter future ahead of me
At least that's what I hear when my problems get to depressing me
Everywhere I see all these positive notes addressing me
And leaving thoughts and prayers in my life, hoping they're blessing me
And honestly I wish it was as simple as that
That I could leave it all to faith and keep my focus on rap
That I could strike a match and burn my sadness clean off the map
Or get amnesia and forget that I could ever be sad
I just wanna let a few things off of my chest
I just wanna voice every thought going through my head
I just wanna feel like it's worth getting out of bed
I don't wanna give up my whole life just yet
Lately it kinda feels as though every breath is a mountain moved
Try to tell myself that it's just a matter of attitude
That getting through this alone is something I have to do
And there's no other person that's ready to handle half my mood
That wasn't rude I'm just saying that I'm a lot to deal with
I need some time to myself I guess to begin the healing
Don't know if I prefer being numb or this sinking feeling
Like I'm going under and hardly feel like a human being
What you've been seeing is struggle between myself and I
Say I'm okay to escape it but that's a selfish lie
I know I should be more open and unafraid to cry
But I'm so scared I'm suicidal and I'm still afraid to die
Maybe it's just a bad day, and I'll be fine tomorrow
Maybe there's never an ending to all this pain and sorrow
Maybe I'm wasting these minutes because our time is borrowed
And if I keep rapping 'bout my death than death is sure to follow
I just wanna let a few things off of my chest
I just wanna voice every thought going through my head
I just wanna feel like it's worth getting out of bed
I don't wanna give up my whole life just yet