DeadFriend - BLOOD TEARS & GLORY Lyrics

Tried to quit but I loved it too much
I was fiending everyday for that new rush
Catching fat tags in back of the school bus
Look around and see my name on everything that you touch

I wanted to stop but I couldent let me
A perfect fit for the void I was empty
Insecurities fueled by others envy
Krylon and memories

Painting a spot? more like a therapy session
Because the wall couldn't walk away when I started venting
My dad stressing cause one thing I never learned was a lesson
So a Montana can replaced all of my antidepressants

Put down the f*cking paint, was his only suggestion
My morals and authority, the only things I would question
Constantly fighting off the demons that my mind was inventing
Cause fumes from the paint had me high in another dimension, outer space

Inspiration struck when I was smoking grass
Life never slowed down but felt like going nowhere fast
Climbing through the rodents, trash, trojans, ash and broken glass
Just to write my name across this motherf*cking overpass

But the relationships it would cost me, costly
Constantly causing karma to haunt me
Chaos and crooked cops in the jungle made of concrete
While coughing from chronic, even my conscience couldn't stop me

Nothing but blood tears and glory
Damn I'm just a slave to this art
G-R-A to the double F, putting paint to a wall
In the shape of my heart
Fame, pain and infamy
Shit even fam wasn't above you
G-R-A to the double F
F*ck you, cause I hate that I love you

Can't quit but I'm gonna try
Otherwise, pain in my mother's eyes from the lies just as I
Wake up and think, is today the day I'm gonna die?
But f*ck it, if I do i'll get up on the other side

Graffiti was my drug, just another high
Asking a bunch of why's, why do it? why risk?
Why that? why this? Why when your loved ones cry?
Answer is to feel alive and to feel that rush inside

Demons in my head, I won't let them win
Then again they always do, somehow they enter in
My mind until I feel as crazy as i've ever been
So a can of spray paint became my medicine

Couldn't take the pain so I just get blown
Nas in my headphones, goals like an end zone
Never met, stressed that heaven might be my next home
So I want everybody to get up on my headstone

Felt like a zero with no commas
Paint terrorist, aka a train bomber
Day to day it was a way to forget drama
But in reality it just created new trauma

But I keep at it, an addict with a lack of self
Problematic, no problem racking cans from the back shelf
Feeling inadequate, imagine how bad that felt
Living backwards, trapped in a passion, mad at the hand dealt

Finally feeling pride when my name rock
Me and my crew were all invested in the same stock
Ending up back on the same block
Same cloth we were cut from, young and painting trains till the pain stopped

Nothing but blood tears and glory
Damn I'm just a slave to this art
G-R-A to the double F, putting paint to a wall
In the shape of my heart
Fame, pain and infamy
Shit even fam wasn't above you
G-R-A to the double F
F*ck you, cause I hate that I love you