[Verse One: Shock G as Humpty Hump]
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All right! Stop whatcha doin', cause I'm about to ruin
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The image and the style that ya used to
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I look funny - but yo I'm making money, see
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So yo world I hope you're ready for me
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Now gather round, I'm the new fool in town
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And my sound's laid down by the Underground
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I drink up all the Hennessy ya got on ya shelf
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So just let me introduce myself
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My name is Humpty, pronounced with a "umpty"
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Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee
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And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee
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I'm steppin' tall, y'all, and just like Humpty Dumpty
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You're gonna fall when the stereos pump me
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I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky
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I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy
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I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
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But sometimes I get ridiculous
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I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
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Hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish?
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Yeah, I called ya fat; look at me, I'm skinny
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It never stopped me from getting busy
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I'm a freak, I like the girls with the boom
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I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
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I'm crazy, allow me to amaze thee
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They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me
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I'm still getting in the girls' pants
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And I even got my own dance
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[Hook]
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The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
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Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
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Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
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Do ya know what I'm doing, doing the Humpty Hump
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Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
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[Verse Two]
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People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
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That's all right cause I get things cookin'
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Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
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But ya can't get near me
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I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B
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All the girls they adore me
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Oh yes, ladies, I'm really being sincere
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Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear
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My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
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Big like a pickle, I'm still getting paid
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I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge
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Both how I'm living and my nose is large
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I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid
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I use a word that don't mean nothing, like looptid
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I sang on "Doowutchalike", and if ya missed it
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I'm the one who said, "Just grab 'im in the biscuits"
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Also told ya that I like to bite
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Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write
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All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance
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And now I'm gonna do my dance
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[Hook]
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[Breakdown]
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Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
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Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here
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Oh, yeah!
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Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
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Let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
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It's real easy to do--check it out
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[Verse Three]
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First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
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Shaking and twitching kinda like I was smoking
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Crazy wack funky
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People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
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That's all right cause my body's in motion
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It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
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Anyone can play this game
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This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
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No two people will do it the same
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Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
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Humping, funking, jumping
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Jig around, shaking ya rump
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And when a doo-doo chump punk points a finger like a stump
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Tell him step off, I'm doing the Hump
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[Hook]
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Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
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White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
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Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doing the hump
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Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
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Let's get stoopid!
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[Hook]
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Oh, yeah, come on and break it down
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[Outro]
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Once again, the Underground is in the house
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I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world
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Keep on doing the Humpty Dance
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And to the ladies
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Peace, and Humptiness forever
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