Eddie Berman - You Can Call Me Al Lyrics

A man walks down the street and says
"Why am I soft in the middle?
Why am I soft in the middle?
When the rest of my life is so hard
I need a shot at redemption
And I want a photo opportunity
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard"
Bonedigger, Bonedigger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away from my well-lit door
And Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly
Get these mutts away from me
You know, I don't find this stuff amusing anymore

So if you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
And I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al

A man walks down the street and says
"Why am I short of attention?
Got a short little span of attention
And, whoa, my nights are so long
Where's my wife and family?
What if I die here?
Who'll be my role model
Now that my role model is gone, gone?"
He ducked down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
And all along, all along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations

So if you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al

A man walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the third world and
Maybe it's his first time around
Doesn't speak the language
And he holds no currency
He is a foreign man and
He is surrounded by the sound, the sound of
Cattle in the marketplace
Scatterlings of orphanages
And he looks around, around
And he sees angels in the architecture
Spinning in infinity
And he says, "Amen and Hallelujah"

So if you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
And I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al

If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
And I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al