Let me tell you a story about Dead Gulch Dan
Just five feet tall, 40 inches around
He went to West Texas with trouble on his mind
But he left riding fast with the law close behind
Born in Cornflower, on the Oklahoma land
But no man ever feared a "Cornflower Dan"
So he gave himself a new name to set 'em quaking in their shoes
Now Dead Gulch Dan, he was reborn to lose
He tried robbing banks and stopping trains
But he always fired early and gave himself away
His second-rate ways kept other highwaymen home
So Dead Gulch Dan rode West alone
Just north of El Paso he spied the prize
A slow-rollin' wagon with four maids inside
He came on hot, stopped that wagon cold
But when his horse hit gravel, Dan hit the road
"Oh Dan, oh Dan," those ladies sang
"You'd best go straight, quit your outlaw ways
Killin' and stealin' ain't the life for you"
Dead Gulch Dan knew just what to do
Dan rode back East, all the way to New York Town
He pawned his saddle and put his guns in the ground
He joined a big old bank full of slippery men
Now Wall Street Dan robs you with his fountain pen